Public School, Private School, Home School...OH MY!!!

As parents, we are often faced with some difficult decisions.  Recently, I have had some interesting conversations with family and friends regarding education.  The options are endless these days.

Public School…Private School…Home School…OH MY!!!

“I just don’t know where to send my kids to school.  I really wish I could homeschool,  but I don't think I'd be able to teach them everything they need to know.  I would love to send my kids to private school, but it’s so expensive.  I’m so scared to send my kids to public school though because of the class sizes and worldly influence.  I just don’t know what to do!”

If you are a parent of young children, I’m sure you have had a conversation with some of your friends or family about your child’s education.  Many of my friends are entering the season where their small children are now of school age and this topic of conversation has been brought up many times.  As parents, we want the best for our children and when it comes to their education, it’s no different. 

Growing up, I never knew there were so many options as to where I attended school.  In fact, I have to wonder if parents even stressed about it like many do today.  I attended my local public school growing up.  I rode the bus to and from school daily and honestly, it was just the normal thing to do and I never thought anything about it!  My, how times have changed!

Today, we live in a culture where many parents forego the convenience of a neighborhood school and often commute up to an hour away just to ensure that their child has the best private school educational experience possible.  Many others have chosen to homeschool.  The options are endless…public schools, charter schools, private schools, homeschool, un-school, transfer schools, traditional schools, classical schools, preparatory schools, etc.…it’s no wonder parents are often left feeling overwhelmed and stressed out about where to send their children!

I remember when my oldest was nearing school age, I was completely stressed out about where to send her to school.  You would have thought I was choosing her future spouse because I felt like I was making a blood covenant decision!  For some reason, I felt like once I made my decision, there was no backing out and she was going to be stuck with that school for the rest of her life.  The weight of that decision was just ridiculous!  We toured schools, had interviews, talked with other parents, spoke with teachers, and spent hours online researching schools!  We were not joking around…when we said we wanted the best for our child and her education, we were serious, ya’ll!  Oh, and I might add…she was only 3!!!  You laugh, but many of you have done the same! 

As I said before, I attended a public school growing up and even taught at a public school for nine years.  I had a wonderful educational experience and wouldn’t change a thing.  Honestly, I always assumed my children would go to a public school as well.  However, sometime between the time that I had children and they became school age, something shifted in me.  If you read my story in an earlier blog post, you know how becoming a mother changed me.  When I became a mom, my focus shifted to a more kingdom-minded perspective.  The only thing that ultimately mattered to me as a mother was that my children grew up to love The Lord and serve Him whole-heartedly!  As I began to focus on raising my children with this goal in mind, my desire for my children to have a Christian education grew.  My husband has always been conservative with our finances and the thought of spending that much money for our child’s education was absurd to him.  He just couldn’t fathom why anyone would spend thousands of dollars on an education when they are offered a free education...I mean, if it was good enough for us, it’s good enough for our kids, right!? 

When Myka was three years old, I joined a ladies Bible study group at my church.  The very first study I signed up for was a Beth Moore study on the book of Deuteronomy.  It literally changed my life.  As we studied Deuteronomy 6, The Lord impressed this familiar portion of scripture onto my heart in such a way that I couldn’t shake the words.  The words rang in my head over and over. 

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6: 5-9

I would wake up in the night with these words going through my mind.  I would recall this scripture throughout the day as I was driving and playing with the kids.  The Lord magnified these words to me in my life.  I began to see this scripture everywhere…on bumper stickers, artwork, in other books I was reading.  The more it got into my spirit, the more I began to pray about what this commandment would look like in our home.  For me, I felt the Lord begin birthing the desire in me to homeschool my children someday so that I could be the one to impress these commandments on my children from the moment that they woke up to the time they went to sleep.  That desire grew more over the years and it’s that desire that lead me to be intentional with teaching my children God’s Word and be intentional about sharing with my kids all of the good things that God was doing in our lives and then thanking Him together.  I wanted them to grow up knowing firsthand how good our Heavenly Father was and I wanted them to learn at a young age that God really does what He says He will do in His Word. 

Over that next year, this portion of scripture never grew dim.  It set off a fire in me and my desire to surround my kids with God’s Word and teachings only grew stronger.  As I mentioned earlier, my husband wasn’t really on board with sending our kids to a private school at first.  But God…He had a plan and a purpose.

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’S purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21

God had a plan for our children and He worked out the details in His perfect timing.  Let me share with you what that looked like in our family.

Nathan was pretty set in his ways when it came to his thoughts on education.  He didn’t want to spend an outrageous amount of money on education when there was a perfectly good school system available for free!  And homeschooling…that was completely out of the question in his eyes!  To him, homeschoolers were socially awkward and just plain weird and he was adamant that our kids would never be homeschooled!  Even as my heart’s desire grew for a Christian education, nothing seemed to be changing his mind.  I knew we still had a couple of years before we needed to make a firm decision, so I just continued to pray that God would give me peace about their schooling. 

One evening, we took the girls to a high school basketball game…something we did often!  Having grown up in our hometown, I loved taking the girls to all of the home football games and basketball games.  However, this particular night, something happened that began the shift in my husband’s heart.  We were sitting there watching the teams warm up before the game started and the music was loud and getting everyone pumped up!  The girls were having a blast dancing around!  A song came on that we didn’t know, and the group of teenagers behind us all stood up and began singing the words loudly.  When you become a parent, things that you once would have never noticed, all of a sudden begin to perk your ears when your small children are around.  I noticed right away that the lyrics to this particular song were not ones that I would ever want my babies to be listening to!  Nathan and I sat there looking surprised that the school administration had approved blaring this particular song at a school event!  The school’s version silenced out all of the curse words but the group of teenagers behind us didn’t skip a word and they sang out those lyrics loud and proud and didn’t even hesitate to sing out those curse words despite teachers, parents, and small children being all around.  Nathan was boiling before the game even began and he was ready to write a letter to administration and send our kids to private school by the time we left!  He just couldn’t fathom sending our kids to a school where the teachers and leaders condoned this kind of music filtering the minds of our children!  He never doubted there would be kids that choose to listen to it, but blaring it at a school event?  That was all it took for the shift to begin in his heart! 

By the time our oldest was ready to start preschool, Nathan was completely on board for sending her to the Christian private school near our home.  He was ready to make whatever sacrifices we needed to make in order for her to go there.  He loved seeing her come home excited to share her new Bible verses with us.  She was learning about Bible stories, singing songs about God’s Word, and quoting new scriptures every week!  We were so grateful that our children had this opportunity to learn about God’s commandments even while they were away from our home. 

By the time our second child was old enough for school, the decision was an easy one as to where she would attend.  We were happy with the Christian school that Myka had been attending and we were pleased with her spiritual and academic growth!  We loved the teachers and had already met some wonderful families and friends!  We loved it…at least everything but the expense!  As I began to calculate how much it would be to send all four of our children to this amazing school, I started talking to my husband again about the possibility of homeschooling.  He’s a numbers guy, so when I threw out some numbers of how much we will have spent on education over the course of our children’s education, it kind of got his attention…and he may have even choked on his food, too!  That conversation opened the door to a deeper conversation about the possibility of homeschooling in the future.  The seed was planted and it was up to God to water and nurture it so that in His perfect timing, it would all work out. 

The desire to home school continued to grow in my heart.  The idea of having my children home with me, studying God’s Word together, and watching them learn new things was exciting to me!  The more I looked into homeschooling, the more appealing it was to me.  I felt it would be a great fit for our family, allowing more time with our young children and using these formative years to pour God’s Word into their hearts and guarding their young minds from outside influences that we felt was necessary to preserve their innocence.  We wanted to be in control of exposing our children to certain things and topics as the Holy Spirit leads us to talk about them, rather than taking away their innocence too early based on what they overheard on the playground or saw on the bus.  But notice my words…we felt it was a great fit for OUR family. 

God has a plan and a purpose for each of our children.  We need to stop looking at the lives of our friends, wishing we had the means to do what they were doing!  Those who send their kids to public school keep wishing they had the money to send their kids to private school.  Meanwhile, many of those who attend private school are so far in debt, they spend their days wishing they could just send their kids to a free school with lower class sizes.  Many parents who choose traditional schooling wish they felt more qualified to homeschool their kids so they could have more time with their children.  Meanwhile, many of those who choose to homeschool spend their days envious of their friends who get lunch dates with friends and errands completed all while kid-free.  Instead of living our lives wishing they were different, we need to learn to be content with where God is calling us for that particular season! 

If we trust God to lead us as parents, we will always make the right decisions for our children!  We just need to be obedient!  Trust me, God is not going to call you to go into debt just so your children can attend a great private school.  If that’s His Will for your kids, He will provide that need for you!  Be wise!  If you are just homeschooling your children because fear has gripped you so badly and you are afraid to send your kids to a public school, you will be miserable and ill-equipped!!!  God doesn't call the qualified.  He qualifies the called!  If He calls you to it, He will equip you for it and you will succeed!  If you are putting your plans above God's plans, you may be entering completely unqualified!  We need to let the Holy Spirit be our guide because when we are obedient and follow where He leads, our children are in the perfect place!  There is absolutely no better place to be than to be right in the middle of God’s plan!  He has gone before you and prepared the way and He knows where your child needs to be…whether that is in a public school, private school, or homeschool!  Let’s stop judging each other’s decisions and wishing for something different.  Let’s learn to be content with our journey…perfectly placed for a purpose for such a time as this! 

Seasons change and often times that means our children’s educational needs change as well.  Stop feeling like you’re a failure if you need to put your children back into a school setting after homeschooling for a season.  And stop feeling like you are shortchanging your children if you are sending them to a public school.  Good parents aren’t the ones who spend thousands of dollars on an education.  Good parents are those who listen to the voice of God and obey His voice!  He leads…we follow.  It’s really that easy!  There’s no need to spend your days worrying about upcoming decisions regarding your child’s education.  He has it all worked out.  Just ask Him to lead you and He will.  Breathe easy today in knowing this truth…God cares for our children far greater than we ever could or imagine!  His ways are better than our ways, so trust in Him.  He loves you and He loves your children. 

It's my prayer that as we enter a new school year soon, you will rest in the assurance that your children are right where they need to be this year.  Be encouraged today in knowing that you are not alone on your journey to raising your precious kiddos.  God is always with us.  He has gone before us and He is preparing the way even now, working on your child's behalf.  For those going off to school, He is preparing the hearts of your child's teachers and future friends.  For those who homeschool, He is equipping you with the knowledge and wisdom necessary to teach your children.  He is always working on our behalf and I am forever grateful for His leading.  God knows I would sure make a mess of my kids if I tried to do it on my own!  Don't make that mistake.  Give your kids to The Lord and be obedient in His leading and you can rest assured, you're children will have the best educational experience ever!

Much Love,

Mary