My Story - Part 4

Happy Monday friends! Today I will be sharing the last part of “My Story”. I smile as I even write that because my story is far from over. However, for the purpose of you getting to know me a little better, this part of my story will allow you to understand me as a person even better. I would like to share with you how motherhood has changed me. I should tell you something first. I have dreamed about being a mother since I was a little girl! I have always wanted lots of babies and I was one of those girls that was just born with that natural tendency to love and nurture. In fact, it's those qualities that I believe led me to pursue a career in teaching. It's just in my blood...the desire to be around kids and getting to love and nurture them! Do you remember in my first post when I said God has our story written out for all of our days even before we were formed? He writes our story before we are even formed so that He can purposely place within us specific personalities, character traits, and strengths as He makes us. Just think about that for a moment...”we were fearfully and wonderfully made” and He made you on purpose, for a purpose, for such a time as this! Sure, my environment and those I have chosen to surround myself with have certainly played a huge role in who I am today, but God...God made me with a purpose in mind! I have no doubt that my need to nurture and my love for kids was something that God placed inside of me when He formed me. He knew the plans He had for me and He knit me together in my mother's womb, making me in His perfect image, paying attention to every detail, making sure I was wonderfully made and perfectly formed in order to fulfill the purpose that He has called me to accomplish during my days on this earth! For me...I believe I found my purpose in 2008!

In 2008, my dream of becoming a mother came true when I gave birth to my first child! The first time I looked at my daughter's face and held her in my arms, I literally felt like my heart may just burst! The love I felt for her was something I will never be able to describe in words. When I became a mother, I can honestly say that I found my calling. Psalms 37:4 says, “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” God did just that...after all, He's the one who placed those desires into my heart! I have always wanted lots of babies and being true to His Word, He blessed my husband and I with four beautiful children! Here they are...Kipton (almost 4), Khloe (6), Nora (2) and Myka (8).

The Bible says children are a gift from the Lord, a reward from Him! I feel so incredibly blessed and humbled that He entrusted these four precious souls to my husband and I. I can't wait to share more with you about each of my children, but there's so much I would want to tell you, so I'm going to save that post for another day! Today, I'd like to focus on how God used motherhood to change me as a person and draw me closer to Him! When I became a parent, I vowed to raise my children in a home where they would grow to know the Lord. I dedicated each of my children to The Lord. I loved Jesus with all of my heart and all I wanted to do was please Him. He gave me these kids as a gift and I felt it was my responsibility to love and nurture them in a way that was pleasing to Him! Well, little did I know how this desire to please Him would draw me closer than ever to my gift giver...to my Lord, Jesus Christ.

I mentioned in my previous posts that I have been in church my entire life. Other than a very short season where I strayed from the Lord, I have served Jesus whole-heartedly. I have a t-shirt that says, “She's a good girl, loves her mama, loves Jesus, and America too!” Well, that could have been said about me! Well, little did I know how experiencing motherhood would change my life and forever change my perception on what a “good girl” was!

Motherhood has a way to draw you closer to The Lord! “Jesus Take the Wheel” may be a popular song, but let's be honest...it's a prayer I learned after becoming a mom! I learned real quick that prayer was an essential part of my parenting journey. In fact, I think it's safe to say my prayer life really began when I became a parent! As I said earlier, I desired to raise my children in a way that was pleasing to God. I have prayed that since I was pregnant with my first child and continue to pray it daily even now! I just didn't realize how that prayer would truly change my life and lead me on a road to righteousness like never before. It wasn't until I had a toddler repeating every word and imitating my every action that my perception of righteousness changed! It's amazing how words and actions from a 2 year old open your eyes to behaviors that just might not be so pleasing to The Lord! Things that I may have never thought of as being “bad”...things that won't send you to hell...things that my fellow Christian friends do or say...things that were just second nature...all of a sudden, when seeing them through the eyes of my child...I had to ask myself, if Jesus heard my child say that, would He be pleased? If Jesus were right here watching my child do this, would He be pleased? As I said earlier, these weren't sin issues, but was I using my power of influence to point my children to righteousness or was I allowing my not so pleasant behaviors, habits, actions, and outbursts to possibly cause some heart issues that could easily turn into sin issues someday? Well, let me tell you how God answered that question for me!

It wasn't long after we entered that fun toddler stage when my oldest began copying my husband and I's every move that I heard a sermon on parenting. I can't even remember where I heard the sermon. It was probably my pastor, but I listen to so many podcasts that it's possible I heard it online. Anyway, the speaker said something that forever changed me! “Parents, what you do in moderation, you give your children permission to do in excess.” When I heard those words, the Holy Spirit immediately convicted me about some areas in my life where this applied. Now for those of you who are already getting defensive and thinking, “Well that's just not Biblical”...start by reading the story in Genesis 26 where Isaac lied in order to protect himself...just as his father had previously done. His father's one quick decision to lie in an attempt to save himself ultimately gave permission to his children to lie anytime they needed to get out of trouble. Then, read any reference about sowing and reaping...there's too many to list! Once I allowed this message to marinate in my heart, I was amazed at how many areas the Holy Spirit began shining a light on areas in my life that weren't pleasing to the Lord. And if the Holy Spirit didn't shine light on a certain area, my children certainly did! All of a sudden, I felt convicted about watching some of my favorite shows and movies! Those shows that I have watched for years, or that movie that I couldn't wait to see...all of a sudden every curse word and every love scene began making me extremely uncomfortable! What used to not bother me all of a sudden made me feel like I was in a room alone with the Lord! Knowing He was there with me made me feel embarrassed to watch it! It didn't matter if there was just one curse word, I literally felt like my daughter's ears perked up every time. That statement above kept ringing in my ears when this would happen...”What I do or allow in moderation, I give my children permission to do in excess!” Would I ever allow my children to curse or encourage sexual immorality? Of course not! But that's in essence what I was doing! I can remember watching a dancing show with my daughter when she was little! She used to dance all around the room and have so much fun! It was hysterical! But one day, I caught her rubbing her hands down her body and moving her body in a way that was definitely not pleasing to the Lord. She was copying what she had seen! And what a reminder of that powerful phrase it was! “what you do in moderation, your children will do in excess.” Here I thought she was just moving around to the music, having fun, not paying attention to the music, dancers, or costumes. However, when I saw her do that particular move with every bit of sass and sexiness that she had seen no telling how many times before, my heart literally sank and boy did I get a good dose of God's correction.

I began praying that God would open my eyes to all of the areas in my life that weren't pleasing to Him. Just a warning...do not pray this unless you are in a place spiritually where you are prepared to have your toes stepped on! I would have considered myself to be a good girl, so when he began to open my eyes to ALL of the areas that were not so pleasing to Him, it didn't feel good! Some of the things were easy to give up! Others...I may have tried to explain myself to God in an effort to justify that my heart was in the right place or that I would just stop watching certain shows in front of my kids or that the movie was “just” rated PG-13 so it was okay. The Holy Spirit has a way of reminding you of your prayers as He corrects you and opens your eyes to unrighteousness! And that message continues to ring loud in my ears even today...am I giving my children permission to do anything unpleasing to the Lord? Over the course of the last six years, the Holy Spirit has convicted me about many of my choices, but I am so grateful because when I prayed that prayer six years ago...I meant every word.

God gifted me these four blessings. He entrusted me to guard their hearts from the enemy's tactics and to train them up in the ways of the Lord. They are watching me and learning from me everyday. If there is anything in my life that is unpleasing to the Lord, I mean it when I say...it stops with me! My perception of appropriate entertainment has drastically changed since becoming a mother! My perception on appropriate clothing has drastically changed since becoming a mother! My perception on appropriate talk has drastically changed since becoming a mother! Motherhood changed me! God changed me! And the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to one of the best lessons I have learned to date...RIGHTEOUSNESS MATTERS!

We are experiencing a spiritual break down through generations because we are falling victim of unrighteousness in moderation! When you think about the progression of unrighteousness over the past three generations, it's alarming! I can't imagine what my great-grandma would think about Christians today! Back then, she probably thought someone holding a deck of cards was sure to go to hell...and my grandma wouldn't dare step foot into a movie theater! But do you see how a few shows here and then a PG rated movie there, led the next generation to start watching some PG-13 movies and then maybe started using some of the language they heard in those movies, and now this generation watching Rated R movies and participating in the same sexual acts that they are seeing in movies and on the tv's in their own home? Can we really be surprised that we are witnessing this spiritual breakdown of Christianity? I considered myself a good girl who loved Jesus and I'm sure many of you do the same! However, when I became a mom, God used the words of an obedient pastor to open my eyes to the fact that I have a greater responsibility than just “being a good girl”. I have the responsibility to teach my children to live a life that is pleasing to the Lord. Ephesians 5 instructs us to live as children of the Light and to find out what pleases the Lord.

How do we find that out? Just ask God to shine His light on areas of darkness in your life. You may be surprised like myself as to just how much unrighteousness is really present in your life. As hard as it was to see my actions and words as unpleasing to God, I am so grateful for the gentle leading of the Holy Spirit. The Bible says it's the loving kindness that leads people to repentance and that couldn't have been truer in my life. God didn't condemn me and tell me I was going to hell for what I was doing or saying. Instead, He allowed the Holy Spirit to walk with me and shine light on areas in my life that weren't pleasing to God so that I could find out. You see, our standard is Christ and His glory and Biblical truth...not our freedom, not our laws. If we set out to love God and please Him in everything we do and say, our children will learn the same. It is then that we will be able to pass on a heritage of faith, instead of excuses.

It is my prayer that God will use my words to in some way draw you closer to Him...just as He used the words from a pastor to draw me closer. I pray that this blog will be a vessel for The Lord to speak to each of you! I pray that my posts will challenge you to seek after God more and spend more time with Him...in His Word and in prayer. And most of all, I pray that in everything I do and in everything I say, may it always be pleasing to Him.

If you haven't signed up to follow my blog by receiving email updates, you should do that today! I don't want you to miss any of my upcoming posts! Thank you again for taking the time to read this today and for joining me on this new writing adventure! I would love to hear from you so let me know if I can be praying for you or I'd love for you to share how God is changing you! Praying you all have a blessed week!

Hugs,

Mary