Saturday, June 18, 2016

A Parent's Worst Nightmare...It Could Have Been Me

Lane Graves was on a magical vacation with his family when tragedy struck. What was supposed to be the happiest place in the world, turned out to be a place of devastation and complete heartbreak for one family this week.

I was getting ready for bed when I first read the reports that a two year-old boy had been attacked by an alligator at a popular Disney Resort. Authorities reported that while he was playing near the shallow waters with his mother, an alligator grabbed him and pulled him under the water. Hearing the reports of how his father tried to save his son literally took my breath away.

As a mother, my heart ached for them. The thought of losing a child is every parents worst nightmare and watching this story unfold on the news was absolutely heart-wrenching. At times, it was simply too much for my heart to handle, and I just had to turn off the television. As I tried to go to bed, I couldn't help but think about the parents that witnessed their precious two year-old child be pulled underneath the waters. That image will forever be in their minds. They don't have the option to turn the channel in order for that image to go away. That thought alone brought tears to my eyes. I wished I could have been there to hug them, hold them tight, and cry with them. The unimaginable guilt that they must have been feeling just broke me. I can't even imagine. It was a tragic accident and honestly, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that could have been me.

I would consider myself to be an over-protective parent...and I have no shame in admitting that. I love my children with everything within me! I would never knowingly put any of my children in a dangerous situation and I tend to avoid certain activities and locations due to the potential risk...regardless if it's fun, popular, or only a slight risk. Some would say I'm paranoid. My kids would probably say I'm a fuddy-dud at times, but I'm okay with that. Really, I am. However, no matter how much I try to protect my kids and keep them safe, I experienced something a couple of weeks ago that taught me just how quickly tragedy can strike.

Nathan had just walked into the door after a long day at work. The kids greeted him with squeals, stories, tugging, and climbing! They were all competing for their daddy's attention and I could tell he just needed a moment to rest. So, I told the kids to get their shoes and come outside with me while I mowed the yard. They were all excited and quickly joined me in the front yard. Typically, the kids play in the driveway while I mow the front yard and then they love to play in the play house while I mow the backyard. They know the routine and rarely venture out of the boundaries. While I mowed the front yard, Myka opened up the tailgate of Nathan's truck and sat there and watched me. As I passed her on every lap, she'd flash her smile at me and wave. Khloe quickly joined her up in the bed of the truck and they began to play with some of the items in the back of his truck.

It wasn't long after that Nathan joined us outside. He decided to go ahead and start working on the backyard while I finished mowing the front so I asked him to take the little ones back there with him. They are a lot more active and harder to keep up with when mowing so I was happy to send them to a confined space knowing he would be back there with them. As I finished up, I noticed Myka and Khloe weren't in the truck so before I started blowing all the grass out of the garage and driveway, I went to the backyard to make sure all four kids were back there. Sure enough, they were all at the back of the yard, climbing the fence and staring off into the woods...something they do often at our home.

I went ahead and finished cleaning up the front yard. Meanwhile, Nathan had finished mowing the backyard, so he had already started edging and weed-eating out back. When all of my work was done, I closed up the garage and headed around to the backyard to watch the kids play. As I walked around the back corner of our sidewalk, I saw Nathan walking up the yard carrying a tow strap that one of the girls must have taken from his truck. I didn't see any of the kids and I could tell by the look on his face that something was wrong. I asked if everything was okay and when he just looked at me and shook his head, I got a little worried. He informed me that everyone was okay now and back inside, but he went on to tell me that Myka almost hung herself with his tow strap. Pretty sure my heart skipped a beat when he told me what happened. Nathan was finishing up his yard work when the girls asked if they could go climb their favorite tree right behind our fence. We have let them do this many times before. Nora and Kipton stayed in the yard and were watching the big girls climb. Nathan was watching the kids as he did his yard work all along, but he couldn't hear them over the sound of his lawn equipment.

At some point after climbing the tree, Myka thought she had a good idea and she decided she would pretend she could fly! So she tied a tow strap around her waist and then threw the other end of the tow strap up over a large branch. She then dropped from where she was sitting, thinking she would swing back and forth. Well, I'm sure by this point in my story, you can guess what happened. The strap cinched up around her waist to the point that she could not get a breath. Not only that, because she dropped, it in essence knocked the wind out of her. So not only did she get the breath knocked out of her, she now could not take a breath because the strap was too tight. She was left there hanging. She couldn't yell, she couldn't alert us, and even if she did, we wouldn't have heard her because of the weed-eater. Fortunately, Khloe was smart enough to run and tell her Daddy. Nathan saw her running up and turned the weed-eater. off so he could talk to her. She told him there was an emergency and Myka couldn't breathe. When Nathan looked up and saw her hanging from the tree, he took off running to get her down. By the time he got to her, she was already red in the face and terror was set in her eyes. She was so scared. Once he got her down, she started crying so hard and that just made it harder for her to catch her breath. She ran inside to find me and that's when I walked around the corner!

Nathan said he had just looked up and they were just sitting there in the tree! It just all happened so fast! He and I stood there processing what could have happened if Khloe hadn't reacted so quickly and came to tell him! We could have experienced a tragedy that day. Here we were, overprotective parents, making sure our children are always in view, looking over often and watching out of our peripheral view constantly and in an instant, the reality hit us how quickly a tragic accident could have occurred.

I couldn't help but recall that gut-wrenching feeling I felt that scary day as I thought about Lane's parents this week. I'm sure his mom thought he was safe because she was right there...holding his hand. I'm sure his dad thought it was perfectly safe for his precious son to walk along the water's edge as long he kept an eye on him. He was right there...yet, in an instant, he was gone. Oh, how my heart breaks for them.

You see, even the best of parents can experience tragedy. It pains me to see such cruel comments directed towards the parents of the precious boy. It pains me to think they may read these comments. They are hurting. They are reliving that moment over and over every waking minute. They are regretting their decision to let their curious son splash his feet in the shallow water before they returned to their room for the night. If they had known of a potential danger, they would have never walked over there. As a parent, I can't help but know that truth. If Nathan and I had known that our child would have ever considered tying a strap around her body and pretend to fly off a tree, we would have never let her go climb the tree in the first place! If things would have turned out differently that day, I can't help but wonder what cruel things would have been said to us. I'm not sure what would be more painful...losing a child in a tragic accident or being reminded by cruel people for the rest of my life that it was my fault and my actions ultimately lead to the death of my child. I can't begin to imagine their grief, however, I can understand how something can happen so quickly right before your eyes...even to the best of parents.

My thoughts and prayers are with this family every day. I can't help but wonder if these parents have a relationship with Jesus Christ. I can't imagine walking the road that's ahead of them without Jesus. Psalms 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and He saves those who are crushed in spirit.” That's my prayer for them. I pray they sense the presence of Jesus with them so closely and that in the moments where they feel hopeless and feel like they can't live another moment without their sweet boy, I pray that The Lord saves them from their despair. May the Holy Spirit comfort them as they walk through the darkest valley and may goodness and lovingkindness follow them all the days of their life.




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