Public School, Private School, Home School...OH MY!!!

As parents, we are often faced with some difficult decisions.  Recently, I have had some interesting conversations with family and friends regarding education.  The options are endless these days.

Public School…Private School…Home School…OH MY!!!

“I just don’t know where to send my kids to school.  I really wish I could homeschool,  but I don't think I'd be able to teach them everything they need to know.  I would love to send my kids to private school, but it’s so expensive.  I’m so scared to send my kids to public school though because of the class sizes and worldly influence.  I just don’t know what to do!”

If you are a parent of young children, I’m sure you have had a conversation with some of your friends or family about your child’s education.  Many of my friends are entering the season where their small children are now of school age and this topic of conversation has been brought up many times.  As parents, we want the best for our children and when it comes to their education, it’s no different. 

Growing up, I never knew there were so many options as to where I attended school.  In fact, I have to wonder if parents even stressed about it like many do today.  I attended my local public school growing up.  I rode the bus to and from school daily and honestly, it was just the normal thing to do and I never thought anything about it!  My, how times have changed!

Today, we live in a culture where many parents forego the convenience of a neighborhood school and often commute up to an hour away just to ensure that their child has the best private school educational experience possible.  Many others have chosen to homeschool.  The options are endless…public schools, charter schools, private schools, homeschool, un-school, transfer schools, traditional schools, classical schools, preparatory schools, etc.…it’s no wonder parents are often left feeling overwhelmed and stressed out about where to send their children!

I remember when my oldest was nearing school age, I was completely stressed out about where to send her to school.  You would have thought I was choosing her future spouse because I felt like I was making a blood covenant decision!  For some reason, I felt like once I made my decision, there was no backing out and she was going to be stuck with that school for the rest of her life.  The weight of that decision was just ridiculous!  We toured schools, had interviews, talked with other parents, spoke with teachers, and spent hours online researching schools!  We were not joking around…when we said we wanted the best for our child and her education, we were serious, ya’ll!  Oh, and I might add…she was only 3!!!  You laugh, but many of you have done the same! 

As I said before, I attended a public school growing up and even taught at a public school for nine years.  I had a wonderful educational experience and wouldn’t change a thing.  Honestly, I always assumed my children would go to a public school as well.  However, sometime between the time that I had children and they became school age, something shifted in me.  If you read my story in an earlier blog post, you know how becoming a mother changed me.  When I became a mom, my focus shifted to a more kingdom-minded perspective.  The only thing that ultimately mattered to me as a mother was that my children grew up to love The Lord and serve Him whole-heartedly!  As I began to focus on raising my children with this goal in mind, my desire for my children to have a Christian education grew.  My husband has always been conservative with our finances and the thought of spending that much money for our child’s education was absurd to him.  He just couldn’t fathom why anyone would spend thousands of dollars on an education when they are offered a free education...I mean, if it was good enough for us, it’s good enough for our kids, right!? 

When Myka was three years old, I joined a ladies Bible study group at my church.  The very first study I signed up for was a Beth Moore study on the book of Deuteronomy.  It literally changed my life.  As we studied Deuteronomy 6, The Lord impressed this familiar portion of scripture onto my heart in such a way that I couldn’t shake the words.  The words rang in my head over and over. 

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6: 5-9

I would wake up in the night with these words going through my mind.  I would recall this scripture throughout the day as I was driving and playing with the kids.  The Lord magnified these words to me in my life.  I began to see this scripture everywhere…on bumper stickers, artwork, in other books I was reading.  The more it got into my spirit, the more I began to pray about what this commandment would look like in our home.  For me, I felt the Lord begin birthing the desire in me to homeschool my children someday so that I could be the one to impress these commandments on my children from the moment that they woke up to the time they went to sleep.  That desire grew more over the years and it’s that desire that lead me to be intentional with teaching my children God’s Word and be intentional about sharing with my kids all of the good things that God was doing in our lives and then thanking Him together.  I wanted them to grow up knowing firsthand how good our Heavenly Father was and I wanted them to learn at a young age that God really does what He says He will do in His Word. 

Over that next year, this portion of scripture never grew dim.  It set off a fire in me and my desire to surround my kids with God’s Word and teachings only grew stronger.  As I mentioned earlier, my husband wasn’t really on board with sending our kids to a private school at first.  But God…He had a plan and a purpose.

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’S purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21

God had a plan for our children and He worked out the details in His perfect timing.  Let me share with you what that looked like in our family.

Nathan was pretty set in his ways when it came to his thoughts on education.  He didn’t want to spend an outrageous amount of money on education when there was a perfectly good school system available for free!  And homeschooling…that was completely out of the question in his eyes!  To him, homeschoolers were socially awkward and just plain weird and he was adamant that our kids would never be homeschooled!  Even as my heart’s desire grew for a Christian education, nothing seemed to be changing his mind.  I knew we still had a couple of years before we needed to make a firm decision, so I just continued to pray that God would give me peace about their schooling. 

One evening, we took the girls to a high school basketball game…something we did often!  Having grown up in our hometown, I loved taking the girls to all of the home football games and basketball games.  However, this particular night, something happened that began the shift in my husband’s heart.  We were sitting there watching the teams warm up before the game started and the music was loud and getting everyone pumped up!  The girls were having a blast dancing around!  A song came on that we didn’t know, and the group of teenagers behind us all stood up and began singing the words loudly.  When you become a parent, things that you once would have never noticed, all of a sudden begin to perk your ears when your small children are around.  I noticed right away that the lyrics to this particular song were not ones that I would ever want my babies to be listening to!  Nathan and I sat there looking surprised that the school administration had approved blaring this particular song at a school event!  The school’s version silenced out all of the curse words but the group of teenagers behind us didn’t skip a word and they sang out those lyrics loud and proud and didn’t even hesitate to sing out those curse words despite teachers, parents, and small children being all around.  Nathan was boiling before the game even began and he was ready to write a letter to administration and send our kids to private school by the time we left!  He just couldn’t fathom sending our kids to a school where the teachers and leaders condoned this kind of music filtering the minds of our children!  He never doubted there would be kids that choose to listen to it, but blaring it at a school event?  That was all it took for the shift to begin in his heart! 

By the time our oldest was ready to start preschool, Nathan was completely on board for sending her to the Christian private school near our home.  He was ready to make whatever sacrifices we needed to make in order for her to go there.  He loved seeing her come home excited to share her new Bible verses with us.  She was learning about Bible stories, singing songs about God’s Word, and quoting new scriptures every week!  We were so grateful that our children had this opportunity to learn about God’s commandments even while they were away from our home. 

By the time our second child was old enough for school, the decision was an easy one as to where she would attend.  We were happy with the Christian school that Myka had been attending and we were pleased with her spiritual and academic growth!  We loved the teachers and had already met some wonderful families and friends!  We loved it…at least everything but the expense!  As I began to calculate how much it would be to send all four of our children to this amazing school, I started talking to my husband again about the possibility of homeschooling.  He’s a numbers guy, so when I threw out some numbers of how much we will have spent on education over the course of our children’s education, it kind of got his attention…and he may have even choked on his food, too!  That conversation opened the door to a deeper conversation about the possibility of homeschooling in the future.  The seed was planted and it was up to God to water and nurture it so that in His perfect timing, it would all work out. 

The desire to home school continued to grow in my heart.  The idea of having my children home with me, studying God’s Word together, and watching them learn new things was exciting to me!  The more I looked into homeschooling, the more appealing it was to me.  I felt it would be a great fit for our family, allowing more time with our young children and using these formative years to pour God’s Word into their hearts and guarding their young minds from outside influences that we felt was necessary to preserve their innocence.  We wanted to be in control of exposing our children to certain things and topics as the Holy Spirit leads us to talk about them, rather than taking away their innocence too early based on what they overheard on the playground or saw on the bus.  But notice my words…we felt it was a great fit for OUR family. 

God has a plan and a purpose for each of our children.  We need to stop looking at the lives of our friends, wishing we had the means to do what they were doing!  Those who send their kids to public school keep wishing they had the money to send their kids to private school.  Meanwhile, many of those who attend private school are so far in debt, they spend their days wishing they could just send their kids to a free school with lower class sizes.  Many parents who choose traditional schooling wish they felt more qualified to homeschool their kids so they could have more time with their children.  Meanwhile, many of those who choose to homeschool spend their days envious of their friends who get lunch dates with friends and errands completed all while kid-free.  Instead of living our lives wishing they were different, we need to learn to be content with where God is calling us for that particular season! 

If we trust God to lead us as parents, we will always make the right decisions for our children!  We just need to be obedient!  Trust me, God is not going to call you to go into debt just so your children can attend a great private school.  If that’s His Will for your kids, He will provide that need for you!  Be wise!  If you are just homeschooling your children because fear has gripped you so badly and you are afraid to send your kids to a public school, you will be miserable and ill-equipped!!!  God doesn't call the qualified.  He qualifies the called!  If He calls you to it, He will equip you for it and you will succeed!  If you are putting your plans above God's plans, you may be entering completely unqualified!  We need to let the Holy Spirit be our guide because when we are obedient and follow where He leads, our children are in the perfect place!  There is absolutely no better place to be than to be right in the middle of God’s plan!  He has gone before you and prepared the way and He knows where your child needs to be…whether that is in a public school, private school, or homeschool!  Let’s stop judging each other’s decisions and wishing for something different.  Let’s learn to be content with our journey…perfectly placed for a purpose for such a time as this! 

Seasons change and often times that means our children’s educational needs change as well.  Stop feeling like you’re a failure if you need to put your children back into a school setting after homeschooling for a season.  And stop feeling like you are shortchanging your children if you are sending them to a public school.  Good parents aren’t the ones who spend thousands of dollars on an education.  Good parents are those who listen to the voice of God and obey His voice!  He leads…we follow.  It’s really that easy!  There’s no need to spend your days worrying about upcoming decisions regarding your child’s education.  He has it all worked out.  Just ask Him to lead you and He will.  Breathe easy today in knowing this truth…God cares for our children far greater than we ever could or imagine!  His ways are better than our ways, so trust in Him.  He loves you and He loves your children. 

It's my prayer that as we enter a new school year soon, you will rest in the assurance that your children are right where they need to be this year.  Be encouraged today in knowing that you are not alone on your journey to raising your precious kiddos.  God is always with us.  He has gone before us and He is preparing the way even now, working on your child's behalf.  For those going off to school, He is preparing the hearts of your child's teachers and future friends.  For those who homeschool, He is equipping you with the knowledge and wisdom necessary to teach your children.  He is always working on our behalf and I am forever grateful for His leading.  God knows I would sure make a mess of my kids if I tried to do it on my own!  Don't make that mistake.  Give your kids to The Lord and be obedient in His leading and you can rest assured, you're children will have the best educational experience ever!

Much Love,

Mary

A Parent's Worst Nightmare...It Could Have Been Me

Lane Graves was on a magical vacation with his family when tragedy struck. What was supposed to be the happiest place in the world, turned out to be a place of devastation and complete heartbreak for one family this week.

I was getting ready for bed when I first read the reports that a two year-old boy had been attacked by an alligator at a popular Disney Resort. Authorities reported that while he was playing near the shallow waters with his mother, an alligator grabbed him and pulled him under the water. Hearing the reports of how his father tried to save his son literally took my breath away.

As a mother, my heart ached for them. The thought of losing a child is every parents worst nightmare and watching this story unfold on the news was absolutely heart-wrenching. At times, it was simply too much for my heart to handle, and I just had to turn off the television. As I tried to go to bed, I couldn't help but think about the parents that witnessed their precious two year-old child be pulled underneath the waters. That image will forever be in their minds. They don't have the option to turn the channel in order for that image to go away. That thought alone brought tears to my eyes. I wished I could have been there to hug them, hold them tight, and cry with them. The unimaginable guilt that they must have been feeling just broke me. I can't even imagine. It was a tragic accident and honestly, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that could have been me.

I would consider myself to be an over-protective parent...and I have no shame in admitting that. I love my children with everything within me! I would never knowingly put any of my children in a dangerous situation and I tend to avoid certain activities and locations due to the potential risk...regardless if it's fun, popular, or only a slight risk. Some would say I'm paranoid. My kids would probably say I'm a fuddy-dud at times, but I'm okay with that. Really, I am. However, no matter how much I try to protect my kids and keep them safe, I experienced something a couple of weeks ago that taught me just how quickly tragedy can strike.

Nathan had just walked into the door after a long day at work. The kids greeted him with squeals, stories, tugging, and climbing! They were all competing for their daddy's attention and I could tell he just needed a moment to rest. So, I told the kids to get their shoes and come outside with me while I mowed the yard. They were all excited and quickly joined me in the front yard. Typically, the kids play in the driveway while I mow the front yard and then they love to play in the play house while I mow the backyard. They know the routine and rarely venture out of the boundaries. While I mowed the front yard, Myka opened up the tailgate of Nathan's truck and sat there and watched me. As I passed her on every lap, she'd flash her smile at me and wave. Khloe quickly joined her up in the bed of the truck and they began to play with some of the items in the back of his truck.

It wasn't long after that Nathan joined us outside. He decided to go ahead and start working on the backyard while I finished mowing the front so I asked him to take the little ones back there with him. They are a lot more active and harder to keep up with when mowing so I was happy to send them to a confined space knowing he would be back there with them. As I finished up, I noticed Myka and Khloe weren't in the truck so before I started blowing all the grass out of the garage and driveway, I went to the backyard to make sure all four kids were back there. Sure enough, they were all at the back of the yard, climbing the fence and staring off into the woods...something they do often at our home.

I went ahead and finished cleaning up the front yard. Meanwhile, Nathan had finished mowing the backyard, so he had already started edging and weed-eating out back. When all of my work was done, I closed up the garage and headed around to the backyard to watch the kids play. As I walked around the back corner of our sidewalk, I saw Nathan walking up the yard carrying a tow strap that one of the girls must have taken from his truck. I didn't see any of the kids and I could tell by the look on his face that something was wrong. I asked if everything was okay and when he just looked at me and shook his head, I got a little worried. He informed me that everyone was okay now and back inside, but he went on to tell me that Myka almost hung herself with his tow strap. Pretty sure my heart skipped a beat when he told me what happened. Nathan was finishing up his yard work when the girls asked if they could go climb their favorite tree right behind our fence. We have let them do this many times before. Nora and Kipton stayed in the yard and were watching the big girls climb. Nathan was watching the kids as he did his yard work all along, but he couldn't hear them over the sound of his lawn equipment.

At some point after climbing the tree, Myka thought she had a good idea and she decided she would pretend she could fly! So she tied a tow strap around her waist and then threw the other end of the tow strap up over a large branch. She then dropped from where she was sitting, thinking she would swing back and forth. Well, I'm sure by this point in my story, you can guess what happened. The strap cinched up around her waist to the point that she could not get a breath. Not only that, because she dropped, it in essence knocked the wind out of her. So not only did she get the breath knocked out of her, she now could not take a breath because the strap was too tight. She was left there hanging. She couldn't yell, she couldn't alert us, and even if she did, we wouldn't have heard her because of the weed-eater. Fortunately, Khloe was smart enough to run and tell her Daddy. Nathan saw her running up and turned the weed-eater. off so he could talk to her. She told him there was an emergency and Myka couldn't breathe. When Nathan looked up and saw her hanging from the tree, he took off running to get her down. By the time he got to her, she was already red in the face and terror was set in her eyes. She was so scared. Once he got her down, she started crying so hard and that just made it harder for her to catch her breath. She ran inside to find me and that's when I walked around the corner!

Nathan said he had just looked up and they were just sitting there in the tree! It just all happened so fast! He and I stood there processing what could have happened if Khloe hadn't reacted so quickly and came to tell him! We could have experienced a tragedy that day. Here we were, overprotective parents, making sure our children are always in view, looking over often and watching out of our peripheral view constantly and in an instant, the reality hit us how quickly a tragic accident could have occurred.

I couldn't help but recall that gut-wrenching feeling I felt that scary day as I thought about Lane's parents this week. I'm sure his mom thought he was safe because she was right there...holding his hand. I'm sure his dad thought it was perfectly safe for his precious son to walk along the water's edge as long he kept an eye on him. He was right there...yet, in an instant, he was gone. Oh, how my heart breaks for them.

You see, even the best of parents can experience tragedy. It pains me to see such cruel comments directed towards the parents of the precious boy. It pains me to think they may read these comments. They are hurting. They are reliving that moment over and over every waking minute. They are regretting their decision to let their curious son splash his feet in the shallow water before they returned to their room for the night. If they had known of a potential danger, they would have never walked over there. As a parent, I can't help but know that truth. If Nathan and I had known that our child would have ever considered tying a strap around her body and pretend to fly off a tree, we would have never let her go climb the tree in the first place! If things would have turned out differently that day, I can't help but wonder what cruel things would have been said to us. I'm not sure what would be more painful...losing a child in a tragic accident or being reminded by cruel people for the rest of my life that it was my fault and my actions ultimately lead to the death of my child. I can't begin to imagine their grief, however, I can understand how something can happen so quickly right before your eyes...even to the best of parents.

My thoughts and prayers are with this family every day. I can't help but wonder if these parents have a relationship with Jesus Christ. I can't imagine walking the road that's ahead of them without Jesus. Psalms 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and He saves those who are crushed in spirit.” That's my prayer for them. I pray they sense the presence of Jesus with them so closely and that in the moments where they feel hopeless and feel like they can't live another moment without their sweet boy, I pray that The Lord saves them from their despair. May the Holy Spirit comfort them as they walk through the darkest valley and may goodness and lovingkindness follow them all the days of their life.

Have We Lost Our Fire?

Tears filled my eyes as I stood in church during praise and worship. I couldn't help but see the large section of students filling the seats in the front of the church. They had just returned from a week at youth camp and as I watched them, I admired how they were changed! There was a new hunger...a passion...a fire lit within them! As I watched them worshiping God, I couldn't hold back the tears! They were dancing, singing, arms stretched high, and the passion that they did it with was illuminating.

I can remember as a young kid being in church, worshiping God with that same excitement and passion. As I watched these students begin jumping and declaring their love for God, it sparked a fire in me! I stood there watching them and my heart was stirred. I closed my eyes and tears rolled down my cheeks! Surely, this is what Heaven will be like! People singing, dancing, and praising with all of their heart! I couldn't help but know in my heart that the Lord was taking delight in their praises!

As my heart was stirred to join in and worship as if I were standing before the King of Kings, I longed to give Him the praise that He deserves! I felt His presence so strongly and in anticipation that everyone else felt the same thing...I looked around! When I took my eyes off of Jesus and instead looked onto man, I missed it. It was at that moment that I saw a large group of students on the front 3 rows praising God, completely surrendered to Him...eyes focused on Jesus and worshiping God passionately in song and dance. Then, I witnessed the majority of the church standing there clapping their hands and singing the words, some with their arms stretched high, but I couldn't stop myself from asking God this question.

Have we lost our fire?

At what age did I lose that passion? There was a day that I couldn't contain my praise and all I could do was dance and sing before my Jesus! Today, as I stood there wanting to join in, I chose to stay “composed.” Heaven help me! I was too worried about things jiggling if I jumped or danced! I was too worried about what all of the “mature adults” around me would think if I surrendered and worshiped God like the days in my youth! I, in essence, put the opinions of others and fear of man above God!

We should never outgrow our passion for God! He is the same yesterday, today, and FOREVER! His love for us never ends! He is good all the time! He is faithful ya'll! He deserves ALL of our praise!!! What kind of example are we leaving for the next generation? Do we really want them to outgrow this passion? I pray my kids never lose their passion for Jesus and I pray they always pursue Him with all of their heart! Yet, today, I was saddened that the church, myself included, is unknowingly teaching them that there comes an age where it's no longer appropriate to give God the praise that He truly deserves.

I don't know about you, but when that day comes that I have the opportunity to stand alone before God, I am going to be on my face, weeping with joy!!! The moment I see Him face to face, I won't be able to contain my praise! That moment that I can praise Him for being my Savior, my Healer, my Comforter, my Provider, my Helper, my Counselor, my Deliverer, my Faithful Friend, my Peace, my Redeemer, and my Rock...I can assure you that I won't give a rip about what others think! I will praise Him and worship Him because He is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords and because of Him, I am free and have eternal life with Him in Heaven! Here's the thing though...I don't have to wait to SEE Him because His presence is already with me! True faith is believing in those things that are not yet seen.  The reality of God being everything I listed above doesn't change whether I take a breath here on earth or whether I take a breath in Heaven, so who am I to withhold all of my praise to Him until I see Him? 

 If you think heaven is going to be a place with “conservative worship”, you are going to be in for a surprise! The Bible describes many times what we should do when we are in the presence of God!

Psalms 100:2 - Come into His presence with singing!

Psalms 100:4 – Enter His gates with thanksgiving, His courts with praise! Give thanks to Him! Bless His Name!

Psalms 149:3 – Let them praise His name with dancing!

Psalms 150:3 – Praise Him with trumpet sound!

Psalms 150:4 – Praise Him with tambourine and dance!

Psalms 95:6 – Come let us bow down and worship him; let us kneel before the Lord!

Praise and worship should be filled with singing, dancing, thanksgiving, praise, bowing before the Lord, loud music with lots of instruments, and JOY! Friends, we need the JOY again! Forgive us God for losing our joy and our fire! Set a fire in our soul again! Take us back to those days of our youth where we don't care what others will think and we praise You and worship You because of who YOU are! We need that revival spirit in our churches! We need the youth to bring camp back to the church! Lord help us! Revive us! Let Your Spirit Fall on us! Set a fire in us!

We don't have to wait until we are in Heaven to experience His presence! He is always with us! Next time you desire His presence, try praising Him and worshiping like the Bible describes! Begin singing and thanking Him for ALL He has done for you! Praise His name with song and dance! Kneel before Him and worship Him! He is Faithful! He is Jehovah Jireh, our Provider, so praise Him like He's already met your needs!!! He is Jehovah Rapha, our Healer, so praise Him like He's already healed your body!!! He is Jehovah Nissi, our Banner, so go ahead and praise Him like He has already secured your victory in whatever battle you are facing! He is Worthy!

Thank you students for your fire and passion! It set off some sparks and I believe your passion has the potential to spread and cause a blazing fire within the church! Don't lose your passion! Don't lose your joy! Don't lose your fire! God is using you to stir the church! He is using you to bring revival to the church! He is using you to open our eyes! He is using you to change the world!

Lord, we need a fresh perspective of who You are! Open our eyes Lord! And when He does...let loose and praise His Holy Name!!! He is Worthy!!!

Weary and Burdened

There is absolutely nothing that could have fully prepared me for parenthood. It's by far the most rewarding thing I have ever done, but I'd be lying if I ever said it was easy! Parenting is hard! When I became a mom, I felt pretty confident stepping into my new role. I had two of the best examples growing up. I had plenty of experience taking care of infants and I had already been a teacher for several years, so being with kids was nothing new. I had taken several college courses on the subject of child development and I had a stack of parenting books that I had read during my pregnancy! I was ready for this! I was made for this! Then, that moment finally came when the nurse placed my daughter in my arms.

I can remember holding my daughter for the first time...looking into her eyes, feeling her soft skin, and hearing her breath exhale on my chest. It was at that moment, that I felt helpless. All the experience, classes, and reading went out the window. There I was staring at this tiny baby and it hit me...God had chosen Nathan and I to be her parents. He had entrusted her vulnerable heart to us...to protect, guard, guide, and nurture. She was a child of God, daughter of the Most High, the King of Kings. And yet, here she was in my arms! What a gift! No one could have prepared me for the emotional burden that comes along with that kind of responsibility! But God...

I have dreamed of having children all of my life! I can remember dreaming of what life would be like with a house full of kids! I have always wanted a big family and I can truthfully say now, that I believe being a mom was part of my purpose all along! I believe God placed that desire within me long ago because He knew...He had a plan...He had a purpose...and He had an assignment. You see, there's an enemy...seeking to kill, steal, and destroy the very blessings that God gave to me...seeking to kill, steal, and destroy the plans of The Lord. But God...

God has blessed me with four beautiful children. As an educator, I can remember hoping my kids would love to read and be good students. As an athlete, I can remember hoping my children would enjoy sports and be active and I used to dream about taking walks and playing at the park together as a family. As a mom, I just wanted the best for my kids. I wanted them to grow up and have lots of friends, be kind, follow their dreams, and have fun! I wanted them to grow up and be hard workers and be successful at whatever they decided to become. But mostly, I have always wanted them to love Jesus, obey His Word, and live their life in a manner that was pleasing to the Lord. But nothing or no one could have prepared me for how parenthood would change my expectations and desires for my children! But God...

As I looked into the eyes of each of my children for the first time, all of the dreams, desires, and expectations for my kids seemed to fade! Holding them in my arms, realizing that God had entrusted their precious souls to us to guide and teach...all of a sudden, the only thing that I truly cared about was their heart and I took it upon myself to be a good steward of what The Lord had given me. I vowed to teach my children about God's Word, share with them about the goodness of God, and model to them the fruits of the Spirit. Sure, deep down, the desires for all of the other things remain...I still want them to be happy, healthy, succesful, hard workers, etc...but God opened my eyes to the realization that none of that has any eternal value. It's okay to encourage my children to do those things, but my focus changed. Things that once seemed important to me became less important when I began to ask myself if it had any eternal value. Becoming a parent shifted my thinking. It made me more kingdom-minded instead of earthly-minded. Their hearts became the focus of my parenting and I wanted to make sure that if I was successful at anything, it would be raising these four kids to passionately pursue God, being totally surrendered to Him, obeying His commands, and following His leading. That's really all that matters! What good is it to raise up smart, successful, kind, and athletic kids if they don't love and follow Jesus!? This life is short and will quickly fade. But there is an eternity waiting for us and the mere thought of my children spending their eternity in hell, is enough to break this Momma's heart. So, I made a choice to be intentional and teach my children God's Word and focus on things that have eternal value. That is my greatest desire!

I ask for God's help daily...ALL DAY! I ask for His wisdom...I need it so that I know how to handle different situations that come up daily. I ask for His direction...I need it so that I make the right decisions. I ask for patience so that I don't lose it every time my kids disobey or irritate each other. I ask for strength so that I can keep focused on my assignment even though I'm up several times during the night with kids who need to go potty, or are scared, or just need their mommy! I need Him! I am nothing without Him! And if my kids have any chance in the world to grow up to be Godly men and women in a world where righteousness is no longer present even in the church and where nothing is considered sacred, it will only be with God's help! I have surrendered my children to Him and it is only by God's grace that I am able to complete this assignment of raising up God-fearing and Jesus loving children!

Here's the thing though...we live in a fallen world. No matter how hard I try to guard my children's hearts and teach them God's Word, they are not perfect! They will make mistakes and frankly, they make lots of them! And let me just share something with you...no one could have prepared me for how these mistakes would be a playground for the enemy to run around and spread his lies to me! My kids are young, so there have not been any life-altering mistakes but when they do make mistakes, trust me, the enemy is right there to spew his ugly lies in my face! He tells me things like, “You are failing as a parent...Your kid doesn't have a chance...Your child will make all the same mistakes that you did plus more...It's not possible for kids to grow up with a pure and clean heart in this world because I have done my job to remove everything pure from this world...This is just the door I needed to move into his/her heart, she's/he's mine now.” Lie after lie after lie. But God...

Every now and then, I get caught up in parenting and I carry the load of burdens myself. I begin to fret about their soul and question whether I am doing enough to prepare my kids to live righteous and holy lives before the Lord in this culture that we live in! When I do this, it's daunting and frankly...it's just too much for me to bear! As I said before, the mere thought of my kids spending an eternity in hell breaks my heart. It can literally paralyze me with fear. The burden for their soul was never meant to be my burden to bear. As their mother, I am constantly having to give this burden to the Lord. God carried this burden before my children were even born. He was burdened for the soul of my children so much so that He sent His one and only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross as the final sacrifice for their soul! That's how much He loves them...and me!

Recently, when one of my kids made a very poor choice, I was reminded of this truth. One of my kids stole something from a store and when I found out, I was beyond disappointed! My kids have disappointed me many times before, but this was different. This was more than the occasional act of disobedience or fighting among siblings kind of disappointment. This wasn't just an act of disobedience towards Mom and Dad's expectations, but this was one of the Lord's Commandments...Do not Steal! I was heartbroken, disappointed, embarrassed, angry, surprised, sad...the list could go on! I immediately began to question whether we had been doing enough to teach our children God's Word! Surely our kids knew right from wrong...didn't they? Maybe we could have been doing more? Here I thought I had been devoted to teaching my kids to live their life in a manner that was pleasing to God and follow God's Biblical truth. So why would MY child make such a bad decision? I wish I could have said I am so close to the Lord that I heard His voice immediately and knew exactly how to respond, but God knows that wasn't the case! I called both my husband and my mother for advice before I even considered asking God to help me handle this “situation” with His wisdom, love, and grace. Imagine that! Fortunately, my husband and mother are full of Godly wisdom and they helped me calm down and talked some sense into me. They made me realize that taking my beloved child on a tour of the local jailhouse may not be the best punishment for this “crime”. I can laugh now, but seriously ya'll...I was a mess! The enemy wasted no time in filling my thoughts that I was raising up an entitled brat that was going to grow up to be lazy with no work ethic, having to turn to theft as a way of living! All that came to mind within seconds of finding out that my child stole the item from the store! Fortunately, I had the sense to stop and pray before I made the situation even worse! As I prayed and asked God for help, my eyes filled with tears. I prayed, “God, I need you. I don't know how to handle this situation on my own. Forgive me for not turning to you first. Help me Lord. You know my greatest desire is for my children to be in right standing with you. Please help me teach them Your ways so that this won't ever happen again. I can't bear the thought of my child choosing a life of sin...”

As I prayed, The Lord stopped me. Just as quickly as the words were leaving my lips, He stopped me and reminded me of two truths...

1. The burden was never yours to carry.

Psalms 55:12 - “Cast your cares on The Lord and He will sustain you.”

Philippians 4:6-7 - “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

2. He has equipped me as a mother to train my children according to God's Word. That doesn't mean they won't ever make mistakes, but there is a promise attached to that command! I don't have to worry about their soul, because if I do my part, God will complete the work!

Hebrews 13:21 - “May God equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.”

Proverbs 22:6 - “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

The burden of my child's soul is too much for me to carry! It was never meant to be my load! God reminded me that when I committed my children to the Lord, I gave that burden to Him and I don't need to take that back! He has equipped us with His Word and the Holy Spirit so that we can guide our children and teach them God's Word. That is the most important thing we can do for our children because it is attached to a promise that they will NOT depart from it when they are old. So as quickly as I began to imagine what the sin of stealing was going to lead to in the years to come, I took that thought captive and began to confess the promises of God! I began to thank God that my children know the Word of God! I thanked God that my children will not depart from that truth that is already in their hearts! I began thanking God that my children will be called the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus! Immediately...I mean it...immediately...that weight was lifted and I could breathe again! That burden was lifted! Praise God! He carries our load friends!

I don't know what kind of loads you are carrying, but I want to remind you to give it to God. It was never yours to bear in the first place! Whether you are worrying about how you can pay the bills this month, or maybe you just got a bad report from the doctor, or you are worrying about the future of your marriage or your child's soul...give it to God. Let Him carry the load. He has equipped you with His Word and His Holy Spirit to guide you and He will give you wisdom on how to handle the situation so walk confidently in knowing He has your back! It is taken care of so don't worry about it any longer! Be obedient in what He has called YOU to do and then let HIM do the rest! Don't let worry cripple you any longer! Be free today in Jesus' Name!