As we all find ourselves homeschooling our children these days, I’d love to encourage you with some wise words that another homeschool mom encouraged me with during my first years of homeschooling.
I love my children and I genuinely enjoy having them around. Although not perfect, they are really good kids. In the weeks and months leading up to homeschooling, I spent hours and even days planning, preparing, and imagining how our days would be structured. I imagined morning devotions around the breakfast table, long discussions about life and Biblical principles, everyone gathered around the table working quietly for a couple of hours a day, family walks with the dog, trips to the park, play time outside every day, everyone’s heads buried in good books, crafts and supplies spread out on the table, smiles and conversations about what we were learning about, trips to the library, surprise visits to Dad’s office, everyone pitching in to help with chores, life skills being learned, siblings building strong relationships and joyfully playing together, Mom having quiet afternoons to myself to read, scrapbook, or run errands, music lessons, worship music playing in the background, candles lit filing the house with wonderful aromas, and lots of baking taking place in the kitchen. I had it all planned out and I was determined that all of the hard work would be worth it.
Then…life happened! Sure, there are days that look exactly like I had imagined and I’m so thankful for those days. The good days are what keep me going. But, I’m not gonna lie friends…there are hard days…really hard days. I have cried, screamed, said things I regretted, doubted whether I was doing the right thing, threatened to send my kids back to school, imagined how “easy” life would be if I didn’t homeschool, had to ask my kids for forgiveness, questioned my abilities, admired from afar the lives of my other mom friends that spent their mornings at the gym and their afternoons having lunch dates with girlfriends or spouses and doing other fun things together while their kids were in school, and have been the best self-critic a girl could have! I have seen my kids at their very best and I have seen them at their very worst. There are days that my once compliant, obedient, loving, joyful, and respectful children have turned into whining, disobedient, rude, hateful, disrespectful, competitive, critical, and just downright rebellious punks! Those are the days when I question it all! I had prayed that God would use my time at home with my children to build character, impart Biblical truth in their hearts, and bring our family even closer together during these foundational years. Honestly, if they learned to read and write, that was just going to be the icing on the cake. I went into this with a mission to build spiritually mature warriors because I knew the enemy was after my seed and I wanted to teach them how to be alert to demonic forces, how to armor up and win spiritual battles, and equip them to be a light in a dark world!
You can imagine my discouragement on the days that my kids had meltdowns like I had never seen before. Tears, tantrums, screaming, hitting, and ugly words. There were days I felt like homeschooling my children was actually turning them into monsters! There was one day in particular that I’ll never forget. I was run down, beat up, discouraged, drained, exhausted, at my wits end, and ready to throw in the towel. As someone who hates to be around “Debby Downers”, I rarely voice my frustrations with the world. Not sure if it’s because my mama used to tell me, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” or if it’s because I know the power that our words have in the spiritual realm. Whatever the reason, I tend to keep quiet about life’s problems and instead take my cares straight to the Lord. However, this particular day, I turned to my community of homeschool moms and voiced my frustrations with them, shared with them my concerns about seeing such ugly character traits arising in my children, and confessed all of the doubts I was having. Honestly, as soon as I sent the text, I regretted ever sending it because the enemy immediately filled my thoughts with all of the worst-case things they may think about me! However, after only a few short minutes, a friend responded with what I believe was a word from the Lord, because it has forever changed my life. Her words still play on repeat in my head on the hard days.
I’d love to share her thoughts with you and I pray they encourage you as much as they have encouraged me. I wish I had kept the text over the years so I could copy word for word, but I’ll paraphrase the best I can.
Homeschooling is not for the weak. It is hard…really hard. Instead of looking at your situation through the lens of how life would be easier if you sent your kids back to school, begin to thank the Lord for this opportunity to see a glimpse into the heart of your child. Sure, if they were gone for seven hours each day, you may not be the one that has to deal with those heart issues, but just because you don’t see them, doesn’t mean they aren’t there. They are. And what a gift you have been given to deal with those issues in these foundational years. Could you imagine if those heart issues didn’t surface until they were teenagers?! It’s hard to see the ugly parts of your child’s heart, but our Heavenly Father has called you and equipped you to be your children’s parent. He has called and equipped you to teach them, train them, and educate them. He longs for their heart and He is using YOU to reach the places of their heart that are not completely surrendered to Him. What a gift you have been given. Don’t be discouraged when you see the ugly parts of their heart surface. Be thankful for the opportunity to impart truth, show grace, and pray fervently for your child. If you send them back to school, it may not be your problem anymore, but I can guarantee you, no one will take the time to win your child’s heart like you will. No one.
I pray you have more good days than bad, but on those hard days…let these words be on repeat in your thoughts and prayers. You can do this! You are equipped! And friend, you have been chosen for such a time as this! Love you, praying for you, and I’m hear for you if you need me!
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