Happy New Year: Living Your Purpose

Happy New Year!  It’s a new year and with that comes new beginnings…a fresh start.  Many people are making their list of resolutions and setting goals to improve their lives…spiritually, physically, financially, relationally, etc.  I love that people make resolutions and I believe setting goals is extremely important to one’s success.  I once heard Dave Ramsey say this and it has always stuck with me, "If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time."

We need to be able to recognize the areas in our lives that we desire to improve and then set goals to improve them and come up with a game plan.  There’s no better time to do that than right now as we begin a new year, but I want to encourage you to prayerfully consider what is it that God wants for you this year.

Recently, as I was snuggled up on the couch with my kids watching a movie, I couldn’t help but notice the basket of laundry sitting next to the coffee table waiting to be folded.  Instantly, I was reminded of the overflowing hamper full of clothes in my closet that needed to be washed as well as the load of laundry I washed the day before that I had forgotten to put into the dryer.  I fought the urge to hop up and start the laundry again, as I was sure it already had that lovely odor that wet clothes get when they sit too long!  Instead, I felt The Lord gently reminding me to stop, enjoy the blessings that He so greatly wants me to enjoy most, and be in the moment…not just for my children, but for me too. 

As I reflect on 2016, I am so thankful for the many gentle reminders that The Lord gave me along the way to help keep me on track to fulfilling my purpose.  This past year was a beautiful new season for me.  Every year tends to bring new seasons to our lives, but not all of them are pleasant.  

Being a perfectionist, I am naturally an all-in-or-nothing kind of girl.  When I commit to something, I want to do it with excellence…not so much to please others, but to be happy myself.  Balance is something I have always struggled with, but I have always blamed it on my "season" of life!  When I was teaching full-time, it was not unusual to find me working well into the evening.  I was busy planning, decorating bulletin boards, prepping, cleaning, etc.  Most of what kept me late at my job was not always necessary, but because I wanted to create the perfect learning atmosphere for my students and do all of the fun things on my long list, I often felt like it had to be done.  If not, I knew I wouldn’t get to it all!  In my mind, I wasn’t happy unless I knew my students were getting my absolute best. 

Once I had children, finding a healthy balance was extremely difficult for me!  I wanted so badly to continue giving my job the same amount of time, effort, and energy as I always had, but not at the expense of family time.  I tried to prioritize what needed to be done in the classroom first and then I began bringing the rest of the work home with me.  I tried my best to make the most of the time with my husband and kids while I was home, so most nights, I didn’t even crack open my overflowing bag of work until after the kids went to bed around 8:15.  It wasn’t uncommon for me to stay up until after midnight catching up on work and household chores and then start all over again at 5:30 the next morning.  I justified it in my mind by telling myself and those in my life that this was just the season of life that I was in and that it wouldn't last forever.   As you can imagine, it didn’t take long for this to start paying a toll on my body, my mind, my spirit, and my attitude. 

I knew I had to let some things go.  But being the perfectionist that I am, that was easier said than done!  I carried a lot of guilt for not being able to “do it all”.  I felt like I was shortchanging my students if I didn’t do everything I had done in the past or if I didn’t change out the bulletin boards every month with new seasonal artwork or decorations.  I felt like school wouldn’t be quite as much fun if I didn’t create cute covers for their monthly journals and add seasonal clip art for all of their fun sheets.  (This was before the days of Pinterest people!)  I felt like my children would suffer if I had to let them entertain themselves in the floor while I sat on the couch grading papers.  I felt like my husband might think less of me if I didn’t have the laundry caught up, dinner prepared, or the house picked up.  I was putting so much pressure on myself to be perfect and do it all that I was working myself straight into a life that lacked joy!  My life was full of blessings, but somehow I got my eyes off the blessings and all I could focus on were the inconveniences and burdens of life!  That’s a miserable place to be.  Some of you may know that all too well as you may be experiencing it right now. 

I thought when I made the decision to be a stay at home mom, my life would just become a care-free and slow-paced party!  Being the all-in-or-nothing kind of gal, I quickly filled our days with play-dates, fun outings, and story time visits to the library!  I wanted my children to have the best childhood and be the smartest little kids in their class someday!  We were on the go constantly and when we were home, you would have found me reading books to them, working puzzles with them, and baking cookies…that’s what good moms do, right!?  Well, as you can imagine, it didn’t take long for this lifestyle to cause just as much stress and busyness as a full-time working mom!  Why was balance so hard for me?!  I was the homeroom mom, but not just for one of my children!  No, I was determined to be involved and be home room mom for both of my girls!  That’s what good moms do, right?  I was planning two parties pretty much every month between the two classes, taking care of my son at home, and still trying to be a good mom and wife at home!  I was creating so much work for myself that I was once again creating an environment for myself where my greatest blessings were soon becoming more of a burden than blessing and my joy was once again getting sucked right out of my life. 

Not too long after baby #4 was born, I hit my breaking point.  I quickly realized that I wasn’t supermom.  I simply couldn’t do it all!  My personal time in God’s Word was basically non-existent, my marriage wasn’t getting the attention it needed, my children weren’t getting the attention they deserved, I wasn’t getting any time to relax and take care of myself, and my attitude just stunk!  I was so overwhelmed with my long list of duties and obligations that I was going through life every single day feeling resentful and not truly enjoying the blessings along the way.  But God…

God heard my prayers when I cried out to him.  I may not have been reading God’s Word daily and renewing my mind in The Word, but I prayed.  I prayed a lot…and still do.  When I finally took a moment to be quiet, here is what The Lord said.  “Stop.  Just stop it.  Stop trying to do it all in your own strength.  You can’t do it.  You need Me.  Begin renewing your mind in My Word daily and allow Me to guide you through your days.  Stop planning your days before you have even asked Me for direction.  I have plans for you…plans to prosper you and your family.  I desire to spend time with you and pour out my blessings upon you, but you have to pause and receive my blessings!  Otherwise, you are going to miss them all!  Keep your eyes focused on me.  Stop getting overwhelmed with things that have no eternal value.  It’s just stuff.  It’s just information.  It’s just money.  It’s just time.  Focus on what is important and learn to say no to the things that are simply a distraction from what I have called you to do.  Your time here is short compared to your eternal home.  I have great things for you and I desire my children to have fullness of joy as you fulfill the very purpose that I created you for.  So stop.  Just stop.  You don’t have the strength on your own to raise these four children, manage your home, and love your husband.  You need me.  Ask me for help.  Spend time with me.  Let me guide you and help you.  It is then that you will be filled with joy and THE JOY OF THE LORD IS YOUR STRENGTH!”

I am so thankful to have a Heavenly Father that gives me a good kick in the pants when I need it!  Aren’t you?!  He gives us plenty of gentle reminders too, but sometimes we are so busy that we miss them.   That was me.  There have been times where I have been tempted to take my eyes off Jesus and when I do, I can immediately feel the stress increase and the joy decrease.  I have come to love walking in the peace and joy of The Lord.  It’s an amazing place to be. 

As we begin the new year, I encourage you to put your focus back on Jesus.  Open up your Bible and spend time renewing your mind in His Word.  Take a moment, and ask God for help.  Cry out to Him in your desperation.  Pause and receive His blessings!  They are all around.  Many of you are so busy with life’s duties and on top of that you are trying to do even more because you feel like it’s necessary or you just can’t say no!  Just stop!  Focus on Jesus!  Have Him lead you! 

I have learned this past year that it’s no surprise to God that I am a perfectionist.  I have also learned that I have to seek Him and allow Him to direct my steps and decisions so that what I commit to, I can do it well.  That means that I still make my lists.  But, then I pray over them.  I do what is most important and then if the others don’t get done, that’s okay.  I trust God to lead me to do those things that are necessary.  This has been extremely encouraging to me in my journey of homeschooling!  I have learned that it’s okay to not do crafts daily or even weekly!  It’s okay if I keep things simple and just do our curriculum.  I don't have to add a fun thematic unit every month!  My kids are learning.  They are reading every single day.  They are spending time in God’s Word daily and they are engaging in conversations with me and each other that are shaping their thoughts and beliefs that will ultimately reap an eternal harvest.  That is what is important.  If it comes down to choosing to do a fun unit on Christmas traditions around the world or taking the time to teach my kids about the story of Jesus’ birth and teaching them how God’s gift to us changed the world and our future, I am going to take the time to teach the latter.  If it comes down to choosing to go to fun outings or stay home and create opportunities to be a blessing to each other or people near us, I am learning to choose the latter.   

I have learned that true joy comes from The Lord and spending time with Him, but happiness is a choice.  What do you choose to focus on this year?  Your blessings or burdens?  Take a moment to pause, look around, and embrace the blessings all around.  They are there.  Even those who are in a season of trials, I promise when you turn your eyes to Jesus, you will see evidence all around that He is there pouring out his love and blessings over you.  He is so good to us.  What a precious gift He truly is.

My prayer for us all this year is that the Lord would help us keep our eyes on Him and all that He has for us.  That He would help us say no to those things that distract us from His plans.  Let us focus on the things that have eternal rewards.  When we stand before God someday, we will leave everything behind.  No matter how hard we work here on earth, we can’t take it with us.  All the titles, trophies, and achievements won’t matter.  Our projects, money and belongings will all remain here.  The only thing we can bring with us to eternity are our friends and family so invest in them wisely!  Whatever you pour into them here on earth WILL reap an eternal harvest so focus on what is important!  Don’t get caught up in wishing for more, doing more, achieving more, having more, and making more.  Instead, keep it simple.  Learn to say no to the things that distract us from doing what God has called us to do this year.  Be a blessing to others with your words and actions.  Spend time with those you love and slow down long enough to receive the blessings that God has for you today! 

My family absolutely loves the song, “Set a Fire”.  There’s a phrase in that song that says, There’s no place I’d rather be, than here in your love.”  That’s where I want to be in 2017.  I fell in love with Jesus like never before in 2016 and have experienced a peace that only comes from Him.  I have spent time in His Word more than ever before and I have learned to know His voice.  I hear Him daily…guiding me, warning me, correcting me, and encouraging me.  I want more of that this year.  I want to go deeper.  But in order to go deeper in the things of God, I have to be willing to lay aside the things that steal my time and simply distract me.  I don’t ever want to go back to the days where I try to do it all without God.  I don’t ever want to go back to the days where I miss out on the greatest blessings because stress has me weighed down.  I don’t ever want to lose the joy that bubbles up in the depths of my soul!  God is so good!  His love is like nothing I have ever experienced before!  There’s no place I’d rather be.  I pray that as you seek Him this year and pause long enough to be in His presence that you'd experience that same love and be forever changed.  

Happy New Year! XOXOXOXO