My Toxic Thoughts and Habits of 2019

Happy New Year friends!!! 

As I reflected all day (yesterday) on 2019, I have experienced a flood of emotions!  Trials, Peace, and Faithful…those are the words that come to mind to describe my year.  Our family has faced many trials this year in our health, yet through it all, we experienced God’s peace and His presence like never before.  Tears flow as I think about the goodness of God.  It’s hard to find words to describe.  I have walked out this year in the kind of peace that the Bible describes as “peace that passes all understanding.”  However, today, it’s as if I am experiencing the raw emotions of all that we faced for the first time…months later!  How does that even happen!?  I don’t know if it’s just the enemy trying to stir up anxiety or if I have suppressed these emotions all year long without even realizing it, but today has been hard.  It’s almost as if the Lord peeled back a mask that has been covering up thoughts and emotions and He exposed things I wasn’t even aware of.  Here’s what I have learned…

As most of you know, we came so close to losing my sweet mom earlier this year.  It’s a miracle that she survived.  From the moment that my Dad called me that afternoon on April 18^th, it has literally felt like I have had an out of body experience. Nothing about that day or weeks following felt normal.  You guys know that my mom is a pillar in our family.  She has many roles in my life, but to just list a few…mom, friend, helper, encourager, advisor, counselor, babysitter, intercessor, cheerleader, giver, listener, teacher, leader, and hero…yeah, I know that’s more than a few, but those all make the top of the list!  To have come so close to losing all of those roles in my life, you would expect my “normal” reaction would have been to fall apart and be beside myself!  However, because of God’s tangible presence, I was so calm…so confident in His Word and promises…and so far removed from the reality of the circumstances.  

In the weeks and months following her miracle, there were fearful and anxious thoughts that would try to creep into my mind, but I recognized that knock and replaced those thoughts with truth and God’s Word.  I refused to dwell on the “what if’s” because I’ve been there, done that, and it kept me in bondage for years!  I wasn’t about to allow Satan to take me there again.  Again, peace covered me.  Although the Lord was faithful to give me peace in those hard and difficult situations, He showed me today some toxic thought patterns and habits that I unknowingly took on this year and as I have faced these realities head on today, I have experienced a rollercoaster of emotions!  

Here are a couple of the toxic thought patterns and habits that I adopted this year without even being aware of it fully until today:

1.    We are not guaranteed tomorrow, so live today like it’s your last.  

2.    Invest in the relationships that matter

Those sure didn’t seem like toxic thoughts when I had them earlier this year, but unfortunately, after having time to reflect on how those thoughts impacted my living this year, they were very toxic.  

For the past 3 years, I have been on a journey to improving my health.  Over 3 years, I have lost nearly 100lbs.  This year, I gained 30 of those lbs. back.  When I was working on my health, I had to learn to say no to the things that would stunt my progress.  There were times I felt isolated, lonely, and felt like I was missing out.  When I almost lost my mom this year, I was so thankful that the Lord spared her life.  I didn’t want to miss out on another opportunity to spend time with her, fellowship with her, or enjoy her company.  Life seemed so precious to me and I wanted to live life to the fullest.  I felt compelled to invest more time with not only her, but with all of my loved ones and friends.   I found myself reaching out more often to friends and family members and taking the time to get together more frequently.  And you know what…in the world we live in, fellowship = food!  This year, I can truly tell you my heart is full from the movie dates, brunch dates, lunch dates, dinner dates, vacations, adventures, play dates, road trips, Bible studies, connect nights, parties, date nights with my husband, and day dates with the kids. I genuinely invested time into the relationships that matter in my life.  Unfortunately, my heart wasn’t the only thing full…so was my belly!  Somewhere along my journey to cherishing life, I forgot to cherish my health. 

This year, with the Lord’s help, I am going to try to learn how to balance a healthy lifestyle with a happy and fulfilled life.  I don’t want to sacrifice my relationships for my health, nor do I want to sacrifice my health for relationships.  Surely, there is a happy and healthy place in the middle!  I am so thankful for all that the Lord did in 2019 and I am grateful that He allowed me to walk into the new year with fresh revelation.  I know He has more good things in store for our family this year and I’m grateful to have Him walking me through it day by day. 

As we begin a new year, I want you to know that I love you and I am praying blessings over you and your family in 2020!  May this be a year of fulfilled promises in your life!  God bless you all!  Love and Hugs!  Here’s to a new year and a new healthier me!  

Oh Be Careful Little Eyes What You See

This past weekend, my husband and I got away for the weekend and took in an OKC Thunder game!  It was so much fun and probably the best game we have ever seen!  As exciting as it was, there was one thing that left me feeling troubled.  Call me sheltered or just naïve, but I was completely shocked when the OKC Thunder cheerleaders took the court Friday night. I think my jaw dropped as they ran out shaking their pom-poms in nothing more than a sparkly blue bikini with their perky bottom cheeks hanging out.  The first thought that came to my mind was, “Wow!  Cheerleading isn’t anything like I remember!”  What I saw this last weekend was NOT cheerleaders standing on the sidelines shouting out cheers to encourage their team or facing the fans trying to promote crowd participation.  Instead, I saw a group of talented young ladies using their bodies as sexual tools to entertain and entice the crowds.  There were no cheers…only dancing.  

Now, I will be the first to admit that I love me some dancing!  I have always been a sucker for all of the dance shows, but several years ago, the Holy Spirit began convicting me every time I watched my favorite dance show.  It was a show I had watched for years, however, as the show went on over the years, the costumes got sexier and the moves got raunchier and I knew that what I was watching grieved the Holy Spirit because I could no longer watch it without coming under conviction.  I knew in my heart that what I was watching was not promoting Godliness in my life and it sure wasn’t modeling Godliness for my children. I felt the Lord prompting me to guard my heart and the hearts of my children and to prayerfully consider if what I was watching was pleasing to the Lord.  If there was an ounce of conviction or even an ounce of doubt, I chose to turn it off…even my favorite dance show that I had watched since the beginning.  For me, the decision was easy because a moment of entertainment just wasn’t worth risking being out of right relationship with Jesus.  He’s been too good to me and the thought of doing anything that grieved Him hurt my heart to the core.  I want to live a life that pleases Him.  Since then, I have been extremely guarded as to what I allow into my heart.  I don’t want to knowingly open up the door to my heart to anything that would grieve the Lord and I sure don’t want to open the door to my heart for any strongholds to take root.  With all that said, this weekend was a reminder that no matter how careful we are, we can’t always control what our eyes see.  

We sat right behind three young teenage boys and I couldn’t’ help but notice the sheepish grins they gave each other as the Thunder cheerleaders moved their bodies in sexually explicit ways and did the booty shake so well I’m sure even Beyoncé and J.Lo would be proud.  As a mama of a young boy, I wanted so badly to cover their eyes and tell them it wasn’t worth it.  That moment probably seemed so innocent in their eyes, but little do those young men know the stronghold that can take root from that one moment.  Lust is a very real thing and let me tell you something…our young men need our prayers in a big-time way!  

I couldn’t help but think of David in the Bible.  He is described as “a man after God’s own heart, one who would do everything the Lord wants him to do.”   He loved the Lord with all of his heart and desired to please Him in all he did. Yet, even he, fell into the enemy’s trap the day his eyes fell onto a beautiful young woman bathing and lust filled his heart at the sight of her and a stronghold took root.  The mere sight of her nakedness stirred his sexual desire to the point that he had an adulterous affair, conceived a child out of wedlock, and then eventually had the woman’s husband murdered to cover up his sin!  Ya’ll this happened to the only man in the Bible described as “a man after God’s own heart!”  If it can happen to David, how much more can it happen to my son!?  Men don’t have to seek it out...women are freely flaunting it and don’t get me started on what our sons can come across in one accidental computer click.  I’m sure there were plenty of men and young boys who arrived to that game Friday night with the sole purpose of watching the game and yet, many probably left there struggling with lustful thoughts.  And I’m certain there are good men and young boys every single day who leave their homes with the best of intentions but stumble across beautiful women who have bared far more than the common man should see and lust fills his heart and a stronghold takes root.  I see what girls wear these days…the booty shorts where the shorts are so short, you can see the pockets hanging out the front and the cheeks hanging out the back, the midriffs, cleavage baring, tight clothing, and thong bikinis.  It’s an open invitation for men to lust after them and its wrong ladies.  I believe we will be held accountable for our actions that cause others to stumble. How in the world do I protect my son’s heart from falling into lust when he’s surrounded with temptations everywhere he goes?

 This was the question I was left asking the Lord all weekend?  I worry for all men, but I especially worry for our young men.  I found myself praying for my son and this generation of young men being raised up to be the next Godly leaders and men after God’s own heart.  I cried as I prayed and asked God to guard their hearts.  I felt worry come over me as I looked at the problem through my natural eyes.  Pornography is everywhere, half-dressed women at sporting events, and beautiful girls everywhere you go so if David fell into lust after seeing a naked woman once, it seems impossible for the average guy to not fall into sin too!  And it never stops with lust!  Sin will always take you farther than you ever wanted to go and keep you longer than you ever wanted to stay and take more than you ever wanted to give!  David wasn’t the only one to suffer from his sin.  It affected his entire family and ultimately the entire nation.  As I thought of my son falling into those temptations and the consequences of sin that could follow, it scared me.  There is nothing…I mean NOTHING…that is more important to me as a mother than to see my children grow up and live a life completely surrendered to the Lord, obeying his commands and following Him. Nothing.  The thought of any one of them straying from God makes my stomach turn in a matter of seconds.  Truly, the thought can make me ill.  Hell is real and I don’t wish it upon my worst enemy, let alone my beloved children. But as I was praying and asking the Lord to protect my son from the traps and temptations of the enemy, the Lord was so gracious to open my eyes so that I could see things from His perspective. Oh friends, the tears that flowed! They flow all over again as I share His Words with you.  The Lord reminded me that He made each of us in His image and that He didn't make a mistake when he designed men to be sexually stimulated by sight.  He reminded me that because this was part of His perfect design, He also has equipped men to control their sexual desires, but that doesn't mean it's going to be easy.  

The Lord reminded me that “His Word is alive and active” (Heb. 4:12) and that "He is watching to see that His Word is fulfilled” (Jer. 1:12).  1 John 5:14-15 says, “This is the confidence we have approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.  And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.”  Did you get that?!  When we pray the Word of God, we are praying His will.  And when we pray His will, He hears us.  And when we know He hears us, we can be confident that we have what we ask of Him!  So, we don’t have to fear for our children’s futures!  We don’t have to worry that they will fall into the traps of the enemy! We can be confident that God will see to it that His Word is fulfilled!  Praise God!  The night we came home from our trip, I went to bed so troubled in my spirit so I took out my prayer journal and just began writing to God and writing down my prayers for my son.  As the Lord reminded me of the truths above, He began laying on my heart specific scriptures to pray over my son.  I was writing as fast as I could in my journal to get them all down and then I later went and looked up several more scriptures to pray over my son.  After some sweet time with the Lord, I went to sleep in perfect peace.  I know the Lord has great plans for my son and I know he WILL grow up to be a man after God’s own heart, one who surrenders his heart to the Lord, follows Him completely, and obeys all of His commands.  I am confident in this because this is my prayer for him today and every day. 

 

Lord, help Kipton to live according to Your Word, the Bible.  It is Your Word that will keep him on the path of purity.  May Kipton seek you with all of his heart.  May he never stray from your commands.  And may Kipton hide Your Word in his heart that he might not sin against you.  (Psalm 119:9-11)

Lord, may Kipton turn to you to change how he thinks.   Help him to not be drawn to the behaviors of this world, but instead, may he turn to You to be transformed, and may he actively seek Your will.  (Romans 12:2)

Lord, may Kipton clothe Himself in your righteousness and put on Your armor daily to stand firm. There’s a war raging for his soul. Help Kipton to realize that You’ve provided everything he needs to fight effectively. (Eph. 6:11-12)

Lord, may Kipton know Your Word and be quick to do what it says.  May he not be deceived by thinking that knowing it is enough.  Help him to be quick to act!  (James 1:22)

Lord, help Kipton to make a covenant with his eyes not to look with lust at a young woman just as Job did. (Job 31:1)

Lord, Your Word says that no temptation has overtaken You and that God is faithful to help my son overcome every temptation as well.  Thank you, Lord, that you will not allow Kipton to be tempted beyond what he is able, but that he will take the way of escape that you are faithful to provide for him every single time. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Amen!

 

Fill in the name of your son or all of the men in your life and pray this prayer over them in confidence.  There’s an army rising up and our young men will be on the front lines!  The enemy thinks he can overtake them.  He has them surrounded from every direction bombarding them with distractions and dangling temptations to get them off course.  But God.  He is faithful.  The enemy didn’t take into account the powerful prayers of Godly mothers and grandmothers.  Ladies, your prayers are powerful and they are literally changing the course of your children’s lives.  Be diligent to pray God’s Word over your children and pray continuously in the Spirit. And when the enemy’s lies cause fear to creep in, silence him with the truth of what God’s Word says and then watch the Lord be faithful to perform His Word!  Our sons (and future sons-in-law) need to be covered in prayer and we need to teach our daughters to protect the hearts of men by teaching them to be God-fearing women, dressing and acting in a manner that pleases the Lord.  

 

Next time you begin to worry about your son’s path to purity, remember this line from one of my favorite worship songs…” It may look like I’m surrounded, but I’m surround by You!  This is how I fight my battles!”  And then get on your knees and cover your sons in prayer!

 

 

 

Lessons Learned in 2018

There’s just something about closing out a year that often results in deep reflection for me.  As I look back on 2018, it was full of many wonderful times and memories and although there were too many blessings to count, it was also a tough year for our family and so many others that are close to me.  I’ve had to remind myself over and over this year that our fight isn’t against flesh and blood.  This year seemed to be just one attack after another.  I’m not going to lie…it has been very hard.  I love deep and I care big.  I hate seeing people mistreated and taken advantage of.  I tend to expect justice to always win so when things are unfair, it bothers me.  Seeing someone I love so much be mistreated has been brutal.  There were moments this year I asked God if we had missed it.  Did we do something wrong?  Does He have something new in store for us?  I was desperate to make sense of our circumstances.  In those moments of crying out to God, He didn’t answer all of my questions, however, He was always faithful to reveal Himself to me in the storm.  I’m so grateful for the peace and presence of God.  I don’t know how people make it through the storms of life without Jesus. 

When you are in the midst of the storm, your perspective is often clouded.  Things seem way worse when we allow the enemy to take control of our thoughts and emotions.   Fear paralyzes us.  Confusion overwhelms us.  And feelings fail us.  

As we faced each and every attack this year, we were faced with a choice.  Were we going to wallow in what we were feeling or were we going to take ahold of what was true.  I wish I could say our faith has not been shaken this year and we have chosen truth every time, but I’d be lying if I sat here and told you that.  In my moments of weakness, I am so thankful for those who speak truth to me and expose the enemy’s lies with the light of God’s Word and His promises.  It allowed us to walk this year out in peace despite the trials and disappointments.  

Looking back over this year, I am overwhelmed with emotion.  It’s been so difficult, but I can see God’s fingerprints all over the pages of our life story.  God reminded me earlier this year, that He goes before us and prepares our path. You see, in August 2017, I felt the Lord impress on my heart that I needed to take a season of rest.  It’s so easy to overcommit our time doing things we enjoy and before we know it, we often find ourselves in a state of exhaustion all the time.  Meanwhile, the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. We are most susceptible to be devoured when we are tired and weak.  I felt lead to lay aside several of my responsibilities outside of the home, as well as eliminate as many extracurricular activities from our family schedule.  I felt Him leading me to focus on our family and get back to the basics of making Christ the focus of my life, my marriage, and our family.  We got back in a regular routine of doing our family devotions and being intentional about renewing our minds in the Word daily.  Then, a month after I made these big changes in our schedule, I felt the Lord impress on my heart to pray for my marriage.  You guys, I’ve never heard God’s audible voice, but when He laid this on my heart, it caused a physical reaction because it was such a strong alert. I felt an urgency in my spirit to cover my marriage in prayer.  The Lord opened my eyes to the fiery darts around us that were on assignment to tear apart Godly marriages and families.  The devil knows his time is short and he wants our families!  Spiritual warfare is real friends and if you are following the will of God for your life, you can better believe that Satan has sent an assignment to kill, steal, and destroy that which God has purposed for you.  

At the time that the Lord had placed this all on my heart, there probably wasn’t a time that my marriage had been stronger.  But God knew what was ahead.  Nothing that has happened this year has caught Him off guard.  Do you know how much peace that nugget of truth has brought to me this year?  Nothing has caught Him off guard…nothing!  He had me feeding my spirit truth for months and covering my marriage in prayer for months before we faced what would be the most challenging year of our marriage yet. That is no coincidence friends. He goes before us and prepares our path. In January this year, the Lord impressed me to find a good marriage counselor and be proactive to address the weak spots in our marriage.  He alerted me that Satan is aware of the weak spots and if he can just find one little crack, he’ll use it as an entry point into our marriage and family.  Once again, there was an urgency to act.  My husband and I had never even considered counseling before because we have always been happily married, but once the Lord opened my eyes to the spiritual attacks against the family unit, I wasn’t about to let the enemy have my family without a fight!  I was prepared to be proactive and do whatever the Lord lead me to do to fight for my family and boy am I glad I obeyed.  We learned things about each other in those 8 weeks that we hadn’t discovered in the 20 plus years that we have known each other!  We acknowledged the areas we needed to work on and we gave those areas to God and asked for His help.  It was so fun and refreshing and our marriage was strengthened through that process.  I didn’t think I could love Nathan any more than I already did, but this year my love for him has grown even deeper.  God was preparing our path for the hard days ahead.  You guys…He is so faithful and His goodness overwhelms me.    

Satan loves to try to catch us off guard.  He loves blindsiding us with circumstances that trigger emotional responses because people often say and do things that they later regret when emotions are heightened. But when you know his tactics, you don’t fall into his traps.  I can’t imagine what damage Satan would have caused in my marriage and family this year had I not listened to the voice of the Holy Spirit all those months before.  I have no doubt that those months of renewing my mind in His truth, covering my family in prayer, and sitting under godly teaching from our counselor learning how to effectively communicate to my husband in times of conflict saved our marriage and our family.  When the Lord told me to pray for my marriage months before, I didn’t know how to pray because I thought my marriage was already amazing.  So many times, I would just pray in the spirit as I felt prompted.  I was praying for things unknown to me, but by His spirit, I was praying the perfect will of God.  Friends, praying in the Spirit is vital!  He goes before us and He gives us utterance to pray for those things that we don’t have the understanding to pray for yet!  God’s presence has been so evident in our lives. He is faithful to carry out to completion that which He has begun and we are confident He is working on our behalf. He has used that which was meant to harm us this year and He has worked it for our good.  

We have grown so much this year, but growth doesn’t always feel good.  We have had people we love and care about attack our character and few defended us. When it would have felt better to defend ourselves and expose lies, the Lord asked us to humble ourselves and lay aside our pride and remain silent.  I can let it roll off my shoulders pretty easily when people treat me badly, but you mess with my husband or my kids and my mama bear side comes out and I want to defend those I love.  I wanted to see my loved ones vindicated and I wanted others to know how wrong they were for their hateful words and actions.  But God needed to work on ugly parts of my own heart that I didn’t even know were there.  When you genuinely pray, “Search my heart O God and rid me of any sinful ways,” just be ready for some ugliness to be exposed.  This year has been a humbling year.  As I have prayed for the Lord to change the hearts of others, He has exposed plenty of areas in my own life that need to be given over to Him.  As hard as it was to acknowledge, in the process, he gave us compassion for those who hurt us.  God even allowed us to grasp some truth from the criticism and grow in areas and then he healed our hearts and allowed us to release the rest.  Only God can do that friends.  As hard as this year has been, I wouldn’t change it for anything.  It was necessary.  God has used this year to get things in order in every area of our lives…spirit, mind, body, and soul.  We suffered loss this year in many areas, but God filled us with exactly what we needed and promised us He will always go before us and lead us to victory.  I’m no longer fearful of the future because I know the promises God has spoken to us in His Word and those He has spoken to our hearts will come to pass.  We are believing 2019 is going to be a year of peace and the year promises are fulfilled.  The Bible doesn’t promise us this life will be easy.  Comfort has never been the goal.  Following the will of the Lord is the goal and fulfilling your God-ordained purpose makes it all worth it.  I’m so thankful I don’t walk this journey out alone.  I can’t think of anyone else I’d want by my side than God Himself and my amazing husband.  Wherever You go, I’ll go.  Thank you for leading and preparing the way.  

 As I close out this year, here are the life lessons that I am taking with me into 2019.  

·     The Lord goes before us and prepares our path. (Deut. 31:8) No matter how difficult the journey may be, He is with us, fighting for us, and He is leading us to victory! (Deut. 1:30) Just trust Him and continue following Him, even when you don’t understand His ways.  

·     Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. (Prov. 3:5) His ways truly are higher than our ways and His thoughts higher than our thoughts. (Isa. 55:9)

·     God is more concerned about our character than our comfort and He’s more interested in making our life holy than He is making our life happy. (Romans 5:3-5)

·     Peace doesn’t only come in the absence of troubles.  You can experience God’s perfect peace even in the midst of life’s storms.  When you focus on God’s promises, you won’t be moved by your circumstances.  (Isa. 26:3-4)

·     No weapon formed against us will prosper. (Isaiah 54:17)  No matter the plans and schemes of man, the Lord’s purpose will prevail. (Prov. 19:21)

·     Our problems are magnified when we become focused on ourselves.  Lift up your eyes and look for opportunities to serve others. It’s great medicine for the heart and soul.  

·     Delayed obedience is disobedience and the consequences are evident.  Trust the nudgings of the Holy Spirit and obey quickly. (Psalm 119:60)

·     When we blow God’s plan A, He still has plans B, C, or so on.  His counsel shall stand and He will accomplish all of His purpose when we seek His ways. (Isa. 46:10)

·     God is faithful to perform His Word. (Jer. 1:12)

No matter how difficult 2018 was for you, I pray you are encouraged today.  God loves you and He has good plans for you and your family. Greater days are coming and just remember, storms may come, but you are only passing through the storm.  It was never God’s plan for you to camp out in the storm or die in the storm.  Remember, His plans are good.  Hold on precious friend and put all of your trust in Him.  I see the sun and the light of His glory ahead.  Victory is ours in Jesus’ Name!   Happy New Year!

Clinging to Promise

Promise…something I have had to cling to this year.

Anyone who knows me at all, you KNOW that I am a planner!  I thrive on schedules, routines, and being prepared.  I make plans…that’s just what I do!  But this year, the enemy has worked overtime to derail the plans that my husband and I have worked hard to accomplish.  It’s been a year of heartache, disappointments, and at times, uncertainty.  Of all the things we have been up against this year, do you know what I have struggled with the most?  The uncertainty.  The enemy has tried to use the unknown as a playground for fear.  But do you know what…FEAR IS A LIAR!   

Life isn’t fair.  Sadly, we live in a world where bad things often happen to good people.  When those things happen, it’s my nature to want to put a plan into place to fix it! But I learned a long time ago that although we may not be able to control every situation and outcome, we CAN control our attitude and how we deal with it.  John 16:33 says, “we WILL have troubles here on earth.”  It’s inevitable on this side of heaven, but that verse doesn’t stop there!  Jesus goes on to say, “But take heart!  I have overcome the world.”  This year, I have had moments where I have questioned myself, my family, my plans, and my future. But one thing I have never questioned is God’s faithfulness.  He has been my constant in a season with so much uncertainty.  Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  I have held onto that promise over and over this year and I truly believe that with all of my heart.  My husband and I have always tried to live our lives with purpose and especially in recent years, our greatest desire has been to live our lives completely devoted to the Lord.  I have spent countless hours over the years seeking the Lord, asking Him to reveal to us His plans. There’s nothing I want more than to do what He has called us to do here on earth for the short time He has placed us here.  I believe The Word when it says we were created for a purpose and that He has good plans for us.  I believe that!  Do you? As the Lord has shed light on His plans and purpose for our lives, my husband and I have made plans and done everything in the natural and to the best of our ability to live out the plans He has for us!  We have made mistakes along the way, but I am so grateful that His mercies are new every morning and that He is faithful to complete the work that He has already begun(Lamentations 3:22-23 and Philippians 1:6)!  

When things don’t go the way we have planned, we have a choice.  We can choose to look at our situation through our fleshly eyes and be resentful, bitter, upset, and use our words to tell others how we were wronged, mistreated, or justified…OR…we can choose to look at our situation through the lens of The Word (TRUTH) and be hopeful, content, comforted, and use our words to speak the promises of God.  People will disappoint us, but God promises us that “No man can close the door that the Lord has opened for you!”  That means that even when our plans fail or appear to be failing, God’s plans for our lives will prevail to those who seek and obey Him!  That is a promise I have had to cling to this year!  There have been moments where I have cried out to God and said, “Lord!  We don’t deserve this!  This isn’t fair!  We have been faithful!  Why, Lord?! Is this really in Your plans?!”  And in those raw moments with my Savior, His presence was tangible and His voice was as clear as ever as His promises filled my heart and He gently reminded me to “Trust the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)  

Jesus is my constant. He is my Rock!  If there is anyone or anything I can fully put my trust into, it is Him and Him alone!  He has never failed me and He never will.  I may not understand His ways at times, but I trust that His ways are higher than my ways (Isaiah 55:9) and I have peace in that and can rest in knowing that.  You will never hear me question God’s goodness as long as I live here on this earth. He has been so so good to me.  If I listed out the troubles we have faced this year and allowed those things to become my focus, it would easily ruin my year as it would override all the good that has happened this year...and there have been so many blessings and joyful moments even in the midst of trials.  That’s what the enemy loves!  If He can get us to focus on what God isn’t doing for us, we fail to recognize everything that He has done/is doing and that will keep us in a place of bondage and fear!  When hard times come, lean into Jesus!  Recognize there is an enemy, but what the enemy means for harm, God will use for good to accomplish His purpose (Genesis 50:20)!  That’s a promise!  Trust in Him!  Trust in His promises!  Trust in His plans for your life!  They are GOOD plans!  Ask the Lord to change your focus today.  

I’m reminded of the Israelites.  God delivered them from slavery and gave them a promise!  He promised to take them to a new land…one that was plentiful where they wouldn’t have to work hard for food, one where the land was plush and water was abundant.   He had a good plan for them and He desired to see them free!  They witnessed God’s miraculous powers on this journey!  An angel of God guarded them all and the Lord Himself lead the way by cloud and a pillar of fire at night!  The seas were split and they walked across on dry ground!  The enemy’s army was swallowed and drowned by the sea!  Bitter waters were made sweet, manna rained down from heaven for bread, quail was sent to provide meat, and water poured out of rocks! These people witnessed God’s goodness, felt His presence, heard His voice, and yet, the moment hard times came, what was the first thing that came out of their mouths?  Complaining and grumbling!  Their focus shifted from the promise to the problem!  When that happened, anxiety and bitterness overcame them and they actually believed that God brought them out of Egypt, out of slavery, just to watch them suffer and die in the wilderness!   Lord, help us! Guard our tongues!  Keep us from complaining and grumbling about our circumstances Lord!  Guard our hearts so that we don’t lose hope in your promises!  Complaining and grumbling kept the Israelites from their promise and it will keep you from yours too!  I don’t know what you are going through today friends.  You may be going through what feels like your own personal hell.  I am not discounting your pain.  But let me assure you, God has good plans for your life. Take hold of the promises that He has spoken over you and declare them over your life, over your family, and over your future.  Trust in Him. When you feel your promise slipping through your fingers and it appears everything the Lord has promised you is gone...cling to His promise and guard your words!  Don’t let your problems dismantle your promise.  God is good and He IS faithful to fulfill His promises! Whether you are standing on the promises of God that are for all believers or you are standing on a specific promise that God spoke directly to you, cling to it!  Don’t let your troubles cloud your perspective from all of the miracles and blessings He is pouring out over you.  God isn’t caught off guard by our troubles.  He goes before us and although we may not understand why things don’t turn out the way we have planned or thought they would, rest in the fact that even when the enemy uses situations to cause pain and trouble in our lives (and even if our pain is a consequence of our actions), God is with you and He will work all things for good according to HIS plans and purpose.  Trust in Him. In a land full of complainers, be a Joshua and go claim your promise!  

Love Nuggets

Don’t you just love it when the Lord uses your life experiences to make such profound connections to His Word? I am so thankful for the Holy Spirit because He is always speaking, guiding, teaching, and correcting us so that we can live out our lives in a manner that reflects Christ and be most effective for the Kingdom and eternity!  Recently, I had one of those moments where the Lord made a clear connection between something I had went through and His Word and it allowed me to see His Word with such clear understanding.  The Word of God is alive and active and I have found over the years that when the Lord reveals Himself through His Word to us, it always prompts action on our part! My heart has been stirred friends and I am on a mission to live out my days here on earth loving God in a way that is so clear that He wouldn’t ever need to ask me the question “Do you really love Me?”

Let me begin by telling you what happened to me earlier this year.  But before I do that, I need to lay some ground work.  My husband and I have quite the love story.  Our story goes all the way back to grade school, but we didn’t officially become “sweethearts” until junior high.  We dated for six years before getting married and he truly was (and still is) my very best friend.  I love that man with all of my heart and I would do absolutely anything for him.  It’s hard to find the words to explain how much I love him.  My love runs so deep that just the thought of him can bring happy tears to my eyes and a flood of emotions can well up inside of me.  There’s not many relationships in my life that have that kind of effect on me.  Have you ever felt that kind of love before?  I can’t help but think about him and be overwhelmed with gratitude that I have someone and something so special.  I don’t ever want to take him or our relationship for granted so any time we have the opportunity to invest in our marriage and show each other how much we love one another, we are both pretty good about making it known…whether that be through words or actions.  We have been married for 15 years and I have poured everything I have into loving my man! Sure, I have moments when I fail and there have been days I could have loved him better, but for the most part, I have loved him the best I could.

Recently, we started seeing a marriage counselor and one of the first exercises he gave us was to write down a list of love nuggets.  Love nuggets are specific, yet practical behaviors that our spouse can do to make us feel loved.  In our 15 years of marriage, I had never really thought about what it was specifically that my husband does to make me feel loved.  I just knew he loved me well!  But you know, as I began to think about it all week long, I started to realize that when my husband calls me or texts me throughout the day, that really makes me feel loved.  When he leaves me an encouraging note or gives me a card expressing his love for me, that makes me feel loved too.  Embracing me with a big squeeze when he gets home from work, holding my hand, or wrapping his arm around me to hold me close…those are all easy and practical ways for him to make me feel loved.  Even things like filling my car up with gas or helping me clean up the house…those were indeed my love nuggets!  Those were the kinds of things that truly make me feel loved.  As I made my list of love nuggets, I couldn’t help but think back to a book I read years ago called “The Five Love Languages”.  As I looked over my list of love nuggets, it was apparent that my primary love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation, but acts of service was evident too.  What do you think your love language is? 

Nathan and I didn’t talk to each other about our lists of love nuggets all week.  Our counselor asked us to wait and discuss them together at our next session so I had no idea what Nathan’s love nuggets were.  I figured Nathan could guess all of mine because I’m a pretty good communicator when it comes to letting him know what I like and don’t like.  He knows me pretty well and after being together for over 20 years…he gets me. Honestly, I figured I’d know his love nuggets too!  As he began to read them off during our session, I was shocked that what I thought were his love nuggets didn't make the list!  Out of the 10 love nuggets that he listed, I only did a few consistently and knowing that…well, let’s just say it crushed me!  Here I have been married to this incredible man for 15 years and to discover that I have been falling short for so long in making him feel loved…it made me feel sick to my stomach…literally!  Everything on his list was so easy and effortless…if only I had known.  I would have been doing them all along!  As I processed the fact that for so long I have been loving him the way that I best felt loved, I realized that in doing that, I failed to love him the way he deserved and desired to be loved.  That hurt my heart so much and later that night, I just broke down and cried.  My husband tried to reassure me that he has always felt loved by me and that he loves all of the ways I show him that I love him, but these were just some of the first things that came to his mind as he quickly made his list.  I felt a little better by the end of our conversation because he explained to me that he had procrastinated on his assignment (gasp…not my husband!) and was having a hard time thinking about specific actions so he scanned the list of ideas that our counselor provided and chose some of those ideas that he thought sounded great and thought that would definitely make him feel loved!  Even then, because of my deep love for him, it tore me up to think I could have done more to make him feel loved and appreciated over the years. It didn’t upset me because I felt like I failed.  It upset me because he’s been too good to me…I WANT to give him everything he ever needed, wanted, or desired!  That’s just how much I adore him!  I didn’t want to start doing these things because he was making me or asking me to…I simply wanted to do these simple things for him because he was worth it and so much more!  Since we made our original lists of 10 love nuggets, we have gone back and added many more!  Any time Nathan does something for me that makes me feel loved, I always tell him, “I’m adding that to my love nuggets list!  That made me feel really special and loved!” and he does the same for me! It has completely transformed the way we love each other!  He is worth the extra effort to love him in ways that may not necessarily come natural for me and he thinks I’m worth it too!  I just wish we had communicated these love nuggets to each other earlier in our relationship because I don’t want to waste a day when it comes to loving my husband.  It’s an honor to love him and it's been so fulfilling to know that when I do these little love nuggets that he feels just as loved as I do.  That’s what I want him to feel all the days of our lives!  I wake up every single day now thinking what can I do today to show him he is loved and I make sure to hit as many love nuggets on the list as possible!  We thought we had a great marriage before, but man, our love nuggets have only intensified the love we share!  I encourage you to make a similar list with your spouse!  My husband appreciates a good sappy love note, but he’s an acts of service guy!  If I cook a good meal and have dinner ready for him when he gets home or plan a golf outing together or even a night for him and his buddies…now that really makes him feel loved!   Whereas, my husband could buy me gifts all day long, but if he isn’t giving me enough physical affection or words of affirmation, I may be asking myself, “Does he really love me?”  We need to learn what our spouse’s love nuggets are and then love them whole heartedly in those areas!

Fast forward a few weeks later after learning this about my husband…the girls and I had been studying about the death and resurrection of Jesus in preparation for Easter.  One morning, as we wrapped up our unit on Christ’s resurrection, we camped out on the story of Peter and the disciples having breakfast with Jesus on the shore before His ascension into heaven.  Peter still hadn’t gotten over that awful night when he had denied Jesus three times.  He was absolutely heart sick over his actions and he had wept bitter tears as he was truly sorry and repentant for his failure.  He loved Jesus with all of his heart and I’m sure after hearing about Christ’s resurrection, he probably wondered if Jesus still wanted him as one of His special disciples.  As Jesus and Peter sat together on the beach, apart from the others, we see in John 21 that Jesus turned, looked into the eyes of Peter, and gently said, “Simon (Peter), do you love Me more than these?”  

“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Then feed and care for My lambs.”  Jesus knew that He would soon be going back to heaven and He wanted Peter to become a good shepherd and help teach His Word to all of the new Christian believers.  

Jesus asked Peter a second time, “Simon, do you really love Me?”

“Yes, Lord,” Peter answered, “You know that I love You.”

“Then take care of My sheep,” Jesus said.  Jesus meant that Peter must help care for all who would become His disciples and followers. He knew that His flock would have trouble, temptations, hard tests, discouragements, and battles; and He wanted Peter to help them to grow strong and become true, steady Christians who could lead others to know Christ.  

Once more, Jesus asked him, “Simon, do you really love Me?”

Peter was grieved and hurt that Jesus asked the question this third time.  Once more Peter assured Him, “Lord, you know my heart and You know all things; you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Then feed My sheep.” 

That day on the seashore, Jesus ended His conversation with Peter by saying, “Follow Me.”

As I read this story, I felt the Holy Spirit impressing that same question on my heart, “Do those who say they love Me really love Me?”   

Have you ever wondered why Jesus asked Peter the same question three times?  I don’t think it was because Jesus needed to be convinced that Peter loved Him…He already knew all things.  I believe He asked the same question three times so that Peter was convinced!  Peter loved Jesus with all of His heart, but He didn’t know how to show that love!  He was loving Jesus the best way He knew (kind of like I was loving my husband the best I knew how, yet if I had only known his love nuggets I could have loved him so much better!)  So, look what Jesus did…He gave Him a list of love nuggets before He ascended!  Did you see that?  Just as Nathan listed out clear as day what I can do to show him I love him, Jesus told Peter as clear as day, “If you love Me, then feed and care of my lambs and sheep and follow Me!”

As the Lord began to make this connection in my spirit, I just began to weep.  “Yes, Lord!  You know I love you!”  I cried out. My heart hurt just as it did when I realized I had wasted so many years not loving my husband in the best way. The Lord has been so good to me…to us all!  It broke my heart that He may not feel loved by those who profess to love Him.  I found myself asking the Lord, “How can I love you better?”  He deserves our best love!  I don’t love Him simply to be promised heaven, I love Him because He is worthy of my love. It’s an honor to live my life loving Him the way He desires to be loved.  But the Lord began to reveal to me that He has so many children that say they love Him, they profess to love Him, they profess to be devoted to Him, yet they are loving Him the way they think is best, meanwhile, their love falls so short from what the Lord really desires!  They are missing all of His love nuggets!  You see, many Christians believe reading their Bible every day means they love Jesus or praying often and going to church is how they show Jesus they love Him.  Others think volunteering and giving to charities show they love Jesus.  Those are all great things to do, but that’s not what makes Jesus really feel loved.  You see I was doing a lot of great things for my husband…all of which he appreciated and enjoyed…but when I realized what his love nuggets were, I was loving him in a way that assured him I really loved him.  That’s what Jesus wants from us!  He hears us tell him we love him, He sees us trying to show Him we love Him, He knows our hearts desire, but He gave us His love nuggets list and He’s waiting to see if we really love him.  

John 14:15 says, “If you love me, keep my commands.”

John 14:23, Jesus says, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching.”

So, when Jesus asks each one of us the question over and over, “Do you really love Me?”  It may be that He’s trying to tell us, “I know you say you love Me, but if you really loved Me, you would be keeping my commands and obeying my teaching.”  The ten commandments are in essence God’s love nuggets to us and just as Nathan and I have added to our original list of 10 love nuggets, Jesus has done the same thing throughout His teaching! Everything that was taught in God’s Word after the original commandments, are more love nuggets for us so we can know what it looks like to love Christ!   God’s Word says anyone who believes in your heart that Jesus died and was raised from the dead and you confess with your mouth that “Jesus is Lord”, you will be saved. We are saved by grace and we don’t have to earn salvation or follow a list of love nuggets in order to be saved. However, just as in marriage, our relationship cannot withstand the pressures of this world if the only thing we have is a marriage contract.  When we said our vows, we said them in faith that each one of us would keep our vows and live in a way that reflected the love we professed for one another on our wedding day.  So it is with our relationship with Christ!  Our relationship with Jesus can’t withstand the pressures of the world on words alone.  When we confess with our mouth that Jesus is Lord, we are making a profession of faith that we are going to live like Jesus is Lord.  He’s asking us today, “Do you really love Me?”  I say “Yes, Lord!”  I choose to keep His commands even when it’s hard.  I choose to follow His teachings even when everyone else has compromised. I choose to follow all of his commands, and not dismiss the ones that don’t line up with today’s worldly views.  I choose to stand alone.  I choose to obey his teachings even when persecution comes.  I choose to keep his commands even when it’s unpopular.  I choose to give Him my whole heart for all the days I have left here on earth because He’s worthy of my love and He deserves my best love.  I choose to love Him the way He desires and not just what is comfortable for me.  He’s been too good to me.  What an honor it is to keep His commands and obey His teachings…it’s not burdensome at all when you truly love someone.  Can I ask you the question today…”Do you really love Him?”