There’s just something about closing out a year that often results in deep reflection for me. As I look back on 2018, it was full of many wonderful times and memories and although there were too many blessings to count, it was also a tough year for our family and so many others that are close to me. I’ve had to remind myself over and over this year that our fight isn’t against flesh and blood. This year seemed to be just one attack after another. I’m not going to lie…it has been very hard. I love deep and I care big. I hate seeing people mistreated and taken advantage of. I tend to expect justice to always win so when things are unfair, it bothers me. Seeing someone I love so much be mistreated has been brutal. There were moments this year I asked God if we had missed it. Did we do something wrong? Does He have something new in store for us? I was desperate to make sense of our circumstances. In those moments of crying out to God, He didn’t answer all of my questions, however, He was always faithful to reveal Himself to me in the storm. I’m so grateful for the peace and presence of God. I don’t know how people make it through the storms of life without Jesus.
When you are in the midst of the storm, your perspective is often clouded. Things seem way worse when we allow the enemy to take control of our thoughts and emotions. Fear paralyzes us. Confusion overwhelms us. And feelings fail us.
As we faced each and every attack this year, we were faced with a choice. Were we going to wallow in what we were feeling or were we going to take ahold of what was true. I wish I could say our faith has not been shaken this year and we have chosen truth every time, but I’d be lying if I sat here and told you that. In my moments of weakness, I am so thankful for those who speak truth to me and expose the enemy’s lies with the light of God’s Word and His promises. It allowed us to walk this year out in peace despite the trials and disappointments.
Looking back over this year, I am overwhelmed with emotion. It’s been so difficult, but I can see God’s fingerprints all over the pages of our life story. God reminded me earlier this year, that He goes before us and prepares our path. You see, in August 2017, I felt the Lord impress on my heart that I needed to take a season of rest. It’s so easy to overcommit our time doing things we enjoy and before we know it, we often find ourselves in a state of exhaustion all the time. Meanwhile, the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. We are most susceptible to be devoured when we are tired and weak. I felt lead to lay aside several of my responsibilities outside of the home, as well as eliminate as many extracurricular activities from our family schedule. I felt Him leading me to focus on our family and get back to the basics of making Christ the focus of my life, my marriage, and our family. We got back in a regular routine of doing our family devotions and being intentional about renewing our minds in the Word daily. Then, a month after I made these big changes in our schedule, I felt the Lord impress on my heart to pray for my marriage. You guys, I’ve never heard God’s audible voice, but when He laid this on my heart, it caused a physical reaction because it was such a strong alert. I felt an urgency in my spirit to cover my marriage in prayer. The Lord opened my eyes to the fiery darts around us that were on assignment to tear apart Godly marriages and families. The devil knows his time is short and he wants our families! Spiritual warfare is real friends and if you are following the will of God for your life, you can better believe that Satan has sent an assignment to kill, steal, and destroy that which God has purposed for you.
At the time that the Lord had placed this all on my heart, there probably wasn’t a time that my marriage had been stronger. But God knew what was ahead. Nothing that has happened this year has caught Him off guard. Do you know how much peace that nugget of truth has brought to me this year? Nothing has caught Him off guard…nothing! He had me feeding my spirit truth for months and covering my marriage in prayer for months before we faced what would be the most challenging year of our marriage yet. That is no coincidence friends. He goes before us and prepares our path. In January this year, the Lord impressed me to find a good marriage counselor and be proactive to address the weak spots in our marriage. He alerted me that Satan is aware of the weak spots and if he can just find one little crack, he’ll use it as an entry point into our marriage and family. Once again, there was an urgency to act. My husband and I had never even considered counseling before because we have always been happily married, but once the Lord opened my eyes to the spiritual attacks against the family unit, I wasn’t about to let the enemy have my family without a fight! I was prepared to be proactive and do whatever the Lord lead me to do to fight for my family and boy am I glad I obeyed. We learned things about each other in those 8 weeks that we hadn’t discovered in the 20 plus years that we have known each other! We acknowledged the areas we needed to work on and we gave those areas to God and asked for His help. It was so fun and refreshing and our marriage was strengthened through that process. I didn’t think I could love Nathan any more than I already did, but this year my love for him has grown even deeper. God was preparing our path for the hard days ahead. You guys…He is so faithful and His goodness overwhelms me.
Satan loves to try to catch us off guard. He loves blindsiding us with circumstances that trigger emotional responses because people often say and do things that they later regret when emotions are heightened. But when you know his tactics, you don’t fall into his traps. I can’t imagine what damage Satan would have caused in my marriage and family this year had I not listened to the voice of the Holy Spirit all those months before. I have no doubt that those months of renewing my mind in His truth, covering my family in prayer, and sitting under godly teaching from our counselor learning how to effectively communicate to my husband in times of conflict saved our marriage and our family. When the Lord told me to pray for my marriage months before, I didn’t know how to pray because I thought my marriage was already amazing. So many times, I would just pray in the spirit as I felt prompted. I was praying for things unknown to me, but by His spirit, I was praying the perfect will of God. Friends, praying in the Spirit is vital! He goes before us and He gives us utterance to pray for those things that we don’t have the understanding to pray for yet! God’s presence has been so evident in our lives. He is faithful to carry out to completion that which He has begun and we are confident He is working on our behalf. He has used that which was meant to harm us this year and He has worked it for our good.
We have grown so much this year, but growth doesn’t always feel good. We have had people we love and care about attack our character and few defended us. When it would have felt better to defend ourselves and expose lies, the Lord asked us to humble ourselves and lay aside our pride and remain silent. I can let it roll off my shoulders pretty easily when people treat me badly, but you mess with my husband or my kids and my mama bear side comes out and I want to defend those I love. I wanted to see my loved ones vindicated and I wanted others to know how wrong they were for their hateful words and actions. But God needed to work on ugly parts of my own heart that I didn’t even know were there. When you genuinely pray, “Search my heart O God and rid me of any sinful ways,” just be ready for some ugliness to be exposed. This year has been a humbling year. As I have prayed for the Lord to change the hearts of others, He has exposed plenty of areas in my own life that need to be given over to Him. As hard as it was to acknowledge, in the process, he gave us compassion for those who hurt us. God even allowed us to grasp some truth from the criticism and grow in areas and then he healed our hearts and allowed us to release the rest. Only God can do that friends. As hard as this year has been, I wouldn’t change it for anything. It was necessary. God has used this year to get things in order in every area of our lives…spirit, mind, body, and soul. We suffered loss this year in many areas, but God filled us with exactly what we needed and promised us He will always go before us and lead us to victory. I’m no longer fearful of the future because I know the promises God has spoken to us in His Word and those He has spoken to our hearts will come to pass. We are believing 2019 is going to be a year of peace and the year promises are fulfilled. The Bible doesn’t promise us this life will be easy. Comfort has never been the goal. Following the will of the Lord is the goal and fulfilling your God-ordained purpose makes it all worth it. I’m so thankful I don’t walk this journey out alone. I can’t think of anyone else I’d want by my side than God Himself and my amazing husband. Wherever You go, I’ll go. Thank you for leading and preparing the way.
· The Lord goes before us and prepares our path. (Deut. 31:8) No matter how difficult the journey may be, He is with us, fighting for us, and He is leading us to victory! (Deut. 1:30) Just trust Him and continue following Him, even when you don’t understand His ways.
· Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. (Prov. 3:5) His ways truly are higher than our ways and His thoughts higher than our thoughts. (Isa. 55:9)
· God is more concerned about our character than our comfort and He’s more interested in making our life holy than He is making our life happy. (Romans 5:3-5)
· Peace doesn’t only come in the absence of troubles. You can experience God’s perfect peace even in the midst of life’s storms. When you focus on God’s promises, you won’t be moved by your circumstances. (Isa. 26:3-4)
· No weapon formed against us will prosper. (Isaiah 54:17) No matter the plans and schemes of man, the Lord’s purpose will prevail. (Prov. 19:21)
· Our problems are magnified when we become focused on ourselves. Lift up your eyes and look for opportunities to serve others. It’s great medicine for the heart and soul.
· Delayed obedience is disobedience and the consequences are evident. Trust the nudgings of the Holy Spirit and obey quickly. (Psalm 119:60)
· When we blow God’s plan A, He still has plans B, C, or so on. His counsel shall stand and He will accomplish all of His purpose when we seek His ways. (Isa. 46:10)
· God is faithful to perform His Word. (Jer. 1:12)
No matter how difficult 2018 was for you, I pray you are encouraged today. God loves you and He has good plans for you and your family. Greater days are coming and just remember, storms may come, but you are only passing through the storm. It was never God’s plan for you to camp out in the storm or die in the storm. Remember, His plans are good. Hold on precious friend and put all of your trust in Him. I see the sun and the light of His glory ahead. Victory is ours in Jesus’ Name! Happy New Year!
