Expectation vs. Reality...Encouragement for the New Homeschool Mom

As we all find ourselves homeschooling our children these days, I’d love to encourage you with some wise words that another homeschool mom encouraged me with during my first years of homeschooling.  

I love my children and I genuinely enjoy having them around.  Although not perfect, they are really good kids.  In the weeks and months leading up to homeschooling, I spent hours and even days planning, preparing, and imagining how our days would be structured. I imagined morning devotions around the breakfast table, long discussions about life and Biblical principles, everyone gathered around the table working quietly for a couple of hours a day, family walks with the dog, trips to the park, play time outside every day, everyone’s heads buried in good books, crafts and supplies spread out on the table, smiles and conversations about what we were learning about, trips to the library, surprise visits to Dad’s office, everyone pitching in to help with chores, life skills being learned, siblings building strong relationships and joyfully playing together, Mom having quiet afternoons to myself to read, scrapbook, or run errands, music lessons, worship music playing in the background, candles lit filing the house with wonderful aromas, and lots of baking taking place in the kitchen.  I had it all planned out and I was determined that all of the hard work would be worth it.

Then…life happened! Sure, there are days that look exactly like I had imagined and I’m so thankful for those days.  The good days are what keep me going.  But, I’m not gonna lie friends…there are hard days…really hard days.  I have cried, screamed, said things I regretted, doubted whether I was doing the right thing, threatened to send my kids back to school, imagined how “easy” life would be if I didn’t homeschool, had to ask my kids for forgiveness, questioned my abilities, admired from afar the lives of my other mom friends that spent their mornings at the gym and their afternoons having lunch dates with girlfriends or spouses and doing other fun things together while their kids were in school, and have been the best self-critic a girl could have!  I have seen my kids at their very best and I have seen them at their very worst.  There are days that my once compliant, obedient, loving, joyful, and respectful children have turned into whining, disobedient, rude, hateful, disrespectful, competitive, critical, and just downright rebellious punks!  Those are the days when I question it all!  I had prayed that God would use my time at home with my children to build character, impart Biblical truth in their hearts, and bring our family even closer together during these foundational years.  Honestly, if they learned to read and write, that was just going to be the icing on the cake.  I went into this with a mission to build spiritually mature warriors because I knew the enemy was after my seed and I wanted to teach them how to be alert to demonic forces, how to armor up and win spiritual battles, and equip them to be a light in a dark world!  

You can imagine my discouragement on the days that my kids had meltdowns like I had never seen before. Tears, tantrums, screaming, hitting, and ugly words.  There were days I felt like homeschooling my children was actually turning them into monsters!  There was one day in particular that I’ll never forget.  I was run down, beat up, discouraged, drained, exhausted, at my wits end, and ready to throw in the towel.  As someone who hates to be around “Debby Downers”, I rarely voice my frustrations with the world.  Not sure if it’s because my mama used to tell me, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” or if it’s because I know the power that our words have in the spiritual realm.  Whatever the reason, I tend to keep quiet about life’s problems and instead take my cares straight to the Lord.  However, this particular day, I turned to my community of homeschool moms and voiced my frustrations with them, shared with them my concerns about seeing such ugly character traits arising in my children, and confessed all of the doubts I was having.  Honestly, as soon as I sent the text, I regretted ever sending it because the enemy immediately filled my thoughts with all of the worst-case things they may think about me!  However, after only a few short minutes, a friend responded with what I believe was a word from the Lord, because it has forever changed my life.  Her words still play on repeat in my head on the hard days.  

I’d love to share her thoughts with you and I pray they encourage you as much as they have encouraged me.  I wish I had kept the text over the years so I could copy word for word, but I’ll paraphrase the best I can.

Homeschooling is not for the weak.  It is hard…really hard.  Instead of looking at your situation through the lens of how life would be easier if you sent your kids back to school, begin to thank the Lord for this opportunity to see a glimpse into the heart of your child.  Sure, if they were gone for seven hours each day, you may not be the one that has to deal with those heart issues, but just because you don’t see them, doesn’t mean they aren’t there.  They are. And what a gift you have been given to deal with those issues in these foundational years.  Could you imagine if those heart issues didn’t surface until they were teenagers?!  It’s hard to see the ugly parts of your child’s heart, but our Heavenly Father has called you and equipped you to be your children’s parent.  He has called and equipped you to teach them, train them, and educate them.  He longs for their heart and He is using YOU to reach the places of their heart that are not completely surrendered to Him.  What a gift you have been given.  Don’t be discouraged when you see the ugly parts of their heart surface. Be thankful for the opportunity to impart truth, show grace, and pray fervently for your child.  If you send them back to school, it may not be your problem anymore, but I can guarantee you, no one will take the time to win your child’s heart like you will.  No one. 

I pray you have more good days than bad, but on those hard days…let these words be on repeat in your thoughts and prayers.  You can do this!  You are equipped!  And friend, you have been chosen for such a time as this!  Love you, praying for you, and I’m hear for you if you need me!

Too Many Devotions and Not Enough Bread

Earlier this year, my daughter came to me and told me she really felt lead to read the entire Bible through in one year.  She was so eager to study God's Word and her discipline to read her Bible every single day has been inspiring.  As we saw her love for God's Word grow, we also introduced her to the YouVersion Bible app, which is an amazing Bible Study resource that I only wish I had as a child!  So, in addition to her Bible in a year plan, she also decided to start a devotion with her cousins, a mother daughter devotion with me, and then we do a family devotion together every night as well...all of which are amazing.

She came to me this weekend and explained that since she has started so many devotions with her family, it's harder to keep up with all of her Bible reading, so she was asking for my permission to quit the Bible in a year plan.  I explained to her how proud I was of her for developing a daily routine of spending time reading and studying God’s Word, but that she would need to pray and make that decision based on what she felt the Lord was leading her to do. 

In our conversation, I told her that the Lord is clear that we need to renew our minds in His Word every single day and feed our hearts and minds with His "Daily Bread", but that He doesn't tell us how much of His Word we should read everyday, so that was something she should pray about and ask Him for answers.  I felt prompted to explain to her that all of the devotions she has been reading are excellent tools to study scripture, but she needed to keep in mind that those devotions are typically about 5 minutes worth of man's interpretations and only one isolated scripture of Bible reading.  If she completes all 3-4 of her devotions, she is gaining some great insight into God's Word, but it is all open to human error since it's taught out of context and it is man's interpretation.  I suggested to her that it may be better to read God's Word 5-10 minutes every single day and forego the topical devotions if it was too much to keep up with because when we read the Word of God in full context, the Holy Spirit will bring fresh understanding and revelation to our hearts and minds.  Ultimately, I told her I would support whatever decision she felt lead to make because I love seeing her growing in God's Word!  

As I have reflected on that conversation, it made me recall a comment that one of our Sunday school teachers made a while back.  In addition to being a psychologist and theologian, he is also a college professor.  After teaching Bible courses to students from all over the world, he discovered that the majority of self-proclaimed Christians are Bible illiterates…I would totally include myself in this category!  After much research, he discovered that for the majority of Christians, their entire faith revolves around the 3 point sermons taught on Sundays that focus on one isolated scripture, often taught out of context.  

Do the math.  There are 52 Sundays in a year.  Let’s just say that if a person didn’t miss a Sunday sermon, by the time they are 20 years old, they will have only heard 1,040 sermons by the time they leave the nest.  Assuming they stay in church for the remainder of their lives, they would only hear approximately 5,200 scriptural teachings if they live to be 100 years old...and we all know many of those sermons are repeat teachings on the same scriptures!  Let’s just say they also did daily topical devotions that focused in on a different scripture each day.  365 devotions every year over the course of 20 years would still only be 7,300 scriptures read.  Over a 100 year lifetime, doing daily devotions would expose you to about 36,500 scriptures, but again, we know that many of those are repeat teachings so our exposure is actually less than that.  That sounds like a lot of scriptures, but there are a total of 31,102 verses in the Bible!!!  I can see how studying one scripture at a time is giving us (those of us who have grown up in church all of our lives) a false sense of knowing God’s Word, when in reality we are missing so much truth.  

God’s Word says my people perish because of a lack of knowledge.  I don’t know about you, but I want to teach my children habits that will set them up for success!  If I know a lack of knowledge will cause them to perish, I want to use the 20 years that I have influence on them to teach them as much of the Word as I can.  Just imagine the power of reading 31,000 scriptures every year for the next 10 years...that's 310,000 scriptures that are alive and active being planted into your heart and mind!  

So, how will I study the Bible moving forward and how will I teach my children to study God's Word?  Are we gaining all of our knowledge of God's Word through other people's interpretations and by studying isolated scriptures?  Don't get me wrong...I have gained great insight and have learned SO much through great Bible teachers, books, devotions, and Bible studies.  However, I wonder how much more we would know Jesus and how much more victory we would have in our lives if we prayerfully opened up the Bible and read the living and active Word of God for ourselves.  Just something I have been convicted of over this weekend.  I don't think we need to toss out all of our devotions, but I pray you are challenged to seek the Lord and ask Him to give you personal understanding and revelations as you open your Bible and read the living and active Word of God for yourself.  The Holy Spirit is and will always be our best teacher.  

My Toxic Thoughts and Habits of 2019

Happy New Year friends!!! 

As I reflected all day (yesterday) on 2019, I have experienced a flood of emotions!  Trials, Peace, and Faithful…those are the words that come to mind to describe my year.  Our family has faced many trials this year in our health, yet through it all, we experienced God’s peace and His presence like never before.  Tears flow as I think about the goodness of God.  It’s hard to find words to describe.  I have walked out this year in the kind of peace that the Bible describes as “peace that passes all understanding.”  However, today, it’s as if I am experiencing the raw emotions of all that we faced for the first time…months later!  How does that even happen!?  I don’t know if it’s just the enemy trying to stir up anxiety or if I have suppressed these emotions all year long without even realizing it, but today has been hard.  It’s almost as if the Lord peeled back a mask that has been covering up thoughts and emotions and He exposed things I wasn’t even aware of.  Here’s what I have learned…

As most of you know, we came so close to losing my sweet mom earlier this year.  It’s a miracle that she survived.  From the moment that my Dad called me that afternoon on April 18^th, it has literally felt like I have had an out of body experience. Nothing about that day or weeks following felt normal.  You guys know that my mom is a pillar in our family.  She has many roles in my life, but to just list a few…mom, friend, helper, encourager, advisor, counselor, babysitter, intercessor, cheerleader, giver, listener, teacher, leader, and hero…yeah, I know that’s more than a few, but those all make the top of the list!  To have come so close to losing all of those roles in my life, you would expect my “normal” reaction would have been to fall apart and be beside myself!  However, because of God’s tangible presence, I was so calm…so confident in His Word and promises…and so far removed from the reality of the circumstances.  

In the weeks and months following her miracle, there were fearful and anxious thoughts that would try to creep into my mind, but I recognized that knock and replaced those thoughts with truth and God’s Word.  I refused to dwell on the “what if’s” because I’ve been there, done that, and it kept me in bondage for years!  I wasn’t about to allow Satan to take me there again.  Again, peace covered me.  Although the Lord was faithful to give me peace in those hard and difficult situations, He showed me today some toxic thought patterns and habits that I unknowingly took on this year and as I have faced these realities head on today, I have experienced a rollercoaster of emotions!  

Here are a couple of the toxic thought patterns and habits that I adopted this year without even being aware of it fully until today:

1.    We are not guaranteed tomorrow, so live today like it’s your last.  

2.    Invest in the relationships that matter

Those sure didn’t seem like toxic thoughts when I had them earlier this year, but unfortunately, after having time to reflect on how those thoughts impacted my living this year, they were very toxic.  

For the past 3 years, I have been on a journey to improving my health.  Over 3 years, I have lost nearly 100lbs.  This year, I gained 30 of those lbs. back.  When I was working on my health, I had to learn to say no to the things that would stunt my progress.  There were times I felt isolated, lonely, and felt like I was missing out.  When I almost lost my mom this year, I was so thankful that the Lord spared her life.  I didn’t want to miss out on another opportunity to spend time with her, fellowship with her, or enjoy her company.  Life seemed so precious to me and I wanted to live life to the fullest.  I felt compelled to invest more time with not only her, but with all of my loved ones and friends.   I found myself reaching out more often to friends and family members and taking the time to get together more frequently.  And you know what…in the world we live in, fellowship = food!  This year, I can truly tell you my heart is full from the movie dates, brunch dates, lunch dates, dinner dates, vacations, adventures, play dates, road trips, Bible studies, connect nights, parties, date nights with my husband, and day dates with the kids. I genuinely invested time into the relationships that matter in my life.  Unfortunately, my heart wasn’t the only thing full…so was my belly!  Somewhere along my journey to cherishing life, I forgot to cherish my health. 

This year, with the Lord’s help, I am going to try to learn how to balance a healthy lifestyle with a happy and fulfilled life.  I don’t want to sacrifice my relationships for my health, nor do I want to sacrifice my health for relationships.  Surely, there is a happy and healthy place in the middle!  I am so thankful for all that the Lord did in 2019 and I am grateful that He allowed me to walk into the new year with fresh revelation.  I know He has more good things in store for our family this year and I’m grateful to have Him walking me through it day by day. 

As we begin a new year, I want you to know that I love you and I am praying blessings over you and your family in 2020!  May this be a year of fulfilled promises in your life!  God bless you all!  Love and Hugs!  Here’s to a new year and a new healthier me!  

Oh Be Careful Little Eyes What You See

This past weekend, my husband and I got away for the weekend and took in an OKC Thunder game!  It was so much fun and probably the best game we have ever seen!  As exciting as it was, there was one thing that left me feeling troubled.  Call me sheltered or just naïve, but I was completely shocked when the OKC Thunder cheerleaders took the court Friday night. I think my jaw dropped as they ran out shaking their pom-poms in nothing more than a sparkly blue bikini with their perky bottom cheeks hanging out.  The first thought that came to my mind was, “Wow!  Cheerleading isn’t anything like I remember!”  What I saw this last weekend was NOT cheerleaders standing on the sidelines shouting out cheers to encourage their team or facing the fans trying to promote crowd participation.  Instead, I saw a group of talented young ladies using their bodies as sexual tools to entertain and entice the crowds.  There were no cheers…only dancing.  

Now, I will be the first to admit that I love me some dancing!  I have always been a sucker for all of the dance shows, but several years ago, the Holy Spirit began convicting me every time I watched my favorite dance show.  It was a show I had watched for years, however, as the show went on over the years, the costumes got sexier and the moves got raunchier and I knew that what I was watching grieved the Holy Spirit because I could no longer watch it without coming under conviction.  I knew in my heart that what I was watching was not promoting Godliness in my life and it sure wasn’t modeling Godliness for my children. I felt the Lord prompting me to guard my heart and the hearts of my children and to prayerfully consider if what I was watching was pleasing to the Lord.  If there was an ounce of conviction or even an ounce of doubt, I chose to turn it off…even my favorite dance show that I had watched since the beginning.  For me, the decision was easy because a moment of entertainment just wasn’t worth risking being out of right relationship with Jesus.  He’s been too good to me and the thought of doing anything that grieved Him hurt my heart to the core.  I want to live a life that pleases Him.  Since then, I have been extremely guarded as to what I allow into my heart.  I don’t want to knowingly open up the door to my heart to anything that would grieve the Lord and I sure don’t want to open the door to my heart for any strongholds to take root.  With all that said, this weekend was a reminder that no matter how careful we are, we can’t always control what our eyes see.  

We sat right behind three young teenage boys and I couldn’t’ help but notice the sheepish grins they gave each other as the Thunder cheerleaders moved their bodies in sexually explicit ways and did the booty shake so well I’m sure even Beyoncé and J.Lo would be proud.  As a mama of a young boy, I wanted so badly to cover their eyes and tell them it wasn’t worth it.  That moment probably seemed so innocent in their eyes, but little do those young men know the stronghold that can take root from that one moment.  Lust is a very real thing and let me tell you something…our young men need our prayers in a big-time way!  

I couldn’t help but think of David in the Bible.  He is described as “a man after God’s own heart, one who would do everything the Lord wants him to do.”   He loved the Lord with all of his heart and desired to please Him in all he did. Yet, even he, fell into the enemy’s trap the day his eyes fell onto a beautiful young woman bathing and lust filled his heart at the sight of her and a stronghold took root.  The mere sight of her nakedness stirred his sexual desire to the point that he had an adulterous affair, conceived a child out of wedlock, and then eventually had the woman’s husband murdered to cover up his sin!  Ya’ll this happened to the only man in the Bible described as “a man after God’s own heart!”  If it can happen to David, how much more can it happen to my son!?  Men don’t have to seek it out...women are freely flaunting it and don’t get me started on what our sons can come across in one accidental computer click.  I’m sure there were plenty of men and young boys who arrived to that game Friday night with the sole purpose of watching the game and yet, many probably left there struggling with lustful thoughts.  And I’m certain there are good men and young boys every single day who leave their homes with the best of intentions but stumble across beautiful women who have bared far more than the common man should see and lust fills his heart and a stronghold takes root.  I see what girls wear these days…the booty shorts where the shorts are so short, you can see the pockets hanging out the front and the cheeks hanging out the back, the midriffs, cleavage baring, tight clothing, and thong bikinis.  It’s an open invitation for men to lust after them and its wrong ladies.  I believe we will be held accountable for our actions that cause others to stumble. How in the world do I protect my son’s heart from falling into lust when he’s surrounded with temptations everywhere he goes?

 This was the question I was left asking the Lord all weekend?  I worry for all men, but I especially worry for our young men.  I found myself praying for my son and this generation of young men being raised up to be the next Godly leaders and men after God’s own heart.  I cried as I prayed and asked God to guard their hearts.  I felt worry come over me as I looked at the problem through my natural eyes.  Pornography is everywhere, half-dressed women at sporting events, and beautiful girls everywhere you go so if David fell into lust after seeing a naked woman once, it seems impossible for the average guy to not fall into sin too!  And it never stops with lust!  Sin will always take you farther than you ever wanted to go and keep you longer than you ever wanted to stay and take more than you ever wanted to give!  David wasn’t the only one to suffer from his sin.  It affected his entire family and ultimately the entire nation.  As I thought of my son falling into those temptations and the consequences of sin that could follow, it scared me.  There is nothing…I mean NOTHING…that is more important to me as a mother than to see my children grow up and live a life completely surrendered to the Lord, obeying his commands and following Him. Nothing.  The thought of any one of them straying from God makes my stomach turn in a matter of seconds.  Truly, the thought can make me ill.  Hell is real and I don’t wish it upon my worst enemy, let alone my beloved children. But as I was praying and asking the Lord to protect my son from the traps and temptations of the enemy, the Lord was so gracious to open my eyes so that I could see things from His perspective. Oh friends, the tears that flowed! They flow all over again as I share His Words with you.  The Lord reminded me that He made each of us in His image and that He didn't make a mistake when he designed men to be sexually stimulated by sight.  He reminded me that because this was part of His perfect design, He also has equipped men to control their sexual desires, but that doesn't mean it's going to be easy.  

The Lord reminded me that “His Word is alive and active” (Heb. 4:12) and that "He is watching to see that His Word is fulfilled” (Jer. 1:12).  1 John 5:14-15 says, “This is the confidence we have approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.  And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.”  Did you get that?!  When we pray the Word of God, we are praying His will.  And when we pray His will, He hears us.  And when we know He hears us, we can be confident that we have what we ask of Him!  So, we don’t have to fear for our children’s futures!  We don’t have to worry that they will fall into the traps of the enemy! We can be confident that God will see to it that His Word is fulfilled!  Praise God!  The night we came home from our trip, I went to bed so troubled in my spirit so I took out my prayer journal and just began writing to God and writing down my prayers for my son.  As the Lord reminded me of the truths above, He began laying on my heart specific scriptures to pray over my son.  I was writing as fast as I could in my journal to get them all down and then I later went and looked up several more scriptures to pray over my son.  After some sweet time with the Lord, I went to sleep in perfect peace.  I know the Lord has great plans for my son and I know he WILL grow up to be a man after God’s own heart, one who surrenders his heart to the Lord, follows Him completely, and obeys all of His commands.  I am confident in this because this is my prayer for him today and every day. 

 

Lord, help Kipton to live according to Your Word, the Bible.  It is Your Word that will keep him on the path of purity.  May Kipton seek you with all of his heart.  May he never stray from your commands.  And may Kipton hide Your Word in his heart that he might not sin against you.  (Psalm 119:9-11)

Lord, may Kipton turn to you to change how he thinks.   Help him to not be drawn to the behaviors of this world, but instead, may he turn to You to be transformed, and may he actively seek Your will.  (Romans 12:2)

Lord, may Kipton clothe Himself in your righteousness and put on Your armor daily to stand firm. There’s a war raging for his soul. Help Kipton to realize that You’ve provided everything he needs to fight effectively. (Eph. 6:11-12)

Lord, may Kipton know Your Word and be quick to do what it says.  May he not be deceived by thinking that knowing it is enough.  Help him to be quick to act!  (James 1:22)

Lord, help Kipton to make a covenant with his eyes not to look with lust at a young woman just as Job did. (Job 31:1)

Lord, Your Word says that no temptation has overtaken You and that God is faithful to help my son overcome every temptation as well.  Thank you, Lord, that you will not allow Kipton to be tempted beyond what he is able, but that he will take the way of escape that you are faithful to provide for him every single time. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Amen!

 

Fill in the name of your son or all of the men in your life and pray this prayer over them in confidence.  There’s an army rising up and our young men will be on the front lines!  The enemy thinks he can overtake them.  He has them surrounded from every direction bombarding them with distractions and dangling temptations to get them off course.  But God.  He is faithful.  The enemy didn’t take into account the powerful prayers of Godly mothers and grandmothers.  Ladies, your prayers are powerful and they are literally changing the course of your children’s lives.  Be diligent to pray God’s Word over your children and pray continuously in the Spirit. And when the enemy’s lies cause fear to creep in, silence him with the truth of what God’s Word says and then watch the Lord be faithful to perform His Word!  Our sons (and future sons-in-law) need to be covered in prayer and we need to teach our daughters to protect the hearts of men by teaching them to be God-fearing women, dressing and acting in a manner that pleases the Lord.  

 

Next time you begin to worry about your son’s path to purity, remember this line from one of my favorite worship songs…” It may look like I’m surrounded, but I’m surround by You!  This is how I fight my battles!”  And then get on your knees and cover your sons in prayer!

 

 

 

Lessons Learned in 2018

There’s just something about closing out a year that often results in deep reflection for me.  As I look back on 2018, it was full of many wonderful times and memories and although there were too many blessings to count, it was also a tough year for our family and so many others that are close to me.  I’ve had to remind myself over and over this year that our fight isn’t against flesh and blood.  This year seemed to be just one attack after another.  I’m not going to lie…it has been very hard.  I love deep and I care big.  I hate seeing people mistreated and taken advantage of.  I tend to expect justice to always win so when things are unfair, it bothers me.  Seeing someone I love so much be mistreated has been brutal.  There were moments this year I asked God if we had missed it.  Did we do something wrong?  Does He have something new in store for us?  I was desperate to make sense of our circumstances.  In those moments of crying out to God, He didn’t answer all of my questions, however, He was always faithful to reveal Himself to me in the storm.  I’m so grateful for the peace and presence of God.  I don’t know how people make it through the storms of life without Jesus. 

When you are in the midst of the storm, your perspective is often clouded.  Things seem way worse when we allow the enemy to take control of our thoughts and emotions.   Fear paralyzes us.  Confusion overwhelms us.  And feelings fail us.  

As we faced each and every attack this year, we were faced with a choice.  Were we going to wallow in what we were feeling or were we going to take ahold of what was true.  I wish I could say our faith has not been shaken this year and we have chosen truth every time, but I’d be lying if I sat here and told you that.  In my moments of weakness, I am so thankful for those who speak truth to me and expose the enemy’s lies with the light of God’s Word and His promises.  It allowed us to walk this year out in peace despite the trials and disappointments.  

Looking back over this year, I am overwhelmed with emotion.  It’s been so difficult, but I can see God’s fingerprints all over the pages of our life story.  God reminded me earlier this year, that He goes before us and prepares our path. You see, in August 2017, I felt the Lord impress on my heart that I needed to take a season of rest.  It’s so easy to overcommit our time doing things we enjoy and before we know it, we often find ourselves in a state of exhaustion all the time.  Meanwhile, the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. We are most susceptible to be devoured when we are tired and weak.  I felt lead to lay aside several of my responsibilities outside of the home, as well as eliminate as many extracurricular activities from our family schedule.  I felt Him leading me to focus on our family and get back to the basics of making Christ the focus of my life, my marriage, and our family.  We got back in a regular routine of doing our family devotions and being intentional about renewing our minds in the Word daily.  Then, a month after I made these big changes in our schedule, I felt the Lord impress on my heart to pray for my marriage.  You guys, I’ve never heard God’s audible voice, but when He laid this on my heart, it caused a physical reaction because it was such a strong alert. I felt an urgency in my spirit to cover my marriage in prayer.  The Lord opened my eyes to the fiery darts around us that were on assignment to tear apart Godly marriages and families.  The devil knows his time is short and he wants our families!  Spiritual warfare is real friends and if you are following the will of God for your life, you can better believe that Satan has sent an assignment to kill, steal, and destroy that which God has purposed for you.  

At the time that the Lord had placed this all on my heart, there probably wasn’t a time that my marriage had been stronger.  But God knew what was ahead.  Nothing that has happened this year has caught Him off guard.  Do you know how much peace that nugget of truth has brought to me this year?  Nothing has caught Him off guard…nothing!  He had me feeding my spirit truth for months and covering my marriage in prayer for months before we faced what would be the most challenging year of our marriage yet. That is no coincidence friends. He goes before us and prepares our path. In January this year, the Lord impressed me to find a good marriage counselor and be proactive to address the weak spots in our marriage.  He alerted me that Satan is aware of the weak spots and if he can just find one little crack, he’ll use it as an entry point into our marriage and family.  Once again, there was an urgency to act.  My husband and I had never even considered counseling before because we have always been happily married, but once the Lord opened my eyes to the spiritual attacks against the family unit, I wasn’t about to let the enemy have my family without a fight!  I was prepared to be proactive and do whatever the Lord lead me to do to fight for my family and boy am I glad I obeyed.  We learned things about each other in those 8 weeks that we hadn’t discovered in the 20 plus years that we have known each other!  We acknowledged the areas we needed to work on and we gave those areas to God and asked for His help.  It was so fun and refreshing and our marriage was strengthened through that process.  I didn’t think I could love Nathan any more than I already did, but this year my love for him has grown even deeper.  God was preparing our path for the hard days ahead.  You guys…He is so faithful and His goodness overwhelms me.    

Satan loves to try to catch us off guard.  He loves blindsiding us with circumstances that trigger emotional responses because people often say and do things that they later regret when emotions are heightened. But when you know his tactics, you don’t fall into his traps.  I can’t imagine what damage Satan would have caused in my marriage and family this year had I not listened to the voice of the Holy Spirit all those months before.  I have no doubt that those months of renewing my mind in His truth, covering my family in prayer, and sitting under godly teaching from our counselor learning how to effectively communicate to my husband in times of conflict saved our marriage and our family.  When the Lord told me to pray for my marriage months before, I didn’t know how to pray because I thought my marriage was already amazing.  So many times, I would just pray in the spirit as I felt prompted.  I was praying for things unknown to me, but by His spirit, I was praying the perfect will of God.  Friends, praying in the Spirit is vital!  He goes before us and He gives us utterance to pray for those things that we don’t have the understanding to pray for yet!  God’s presence has been so evident in our lives. He is faithful to carry out to completion that which He has begun and we are confident He is working on our behalf. He has used that which was meant to harm us this year and He has worked it for our good.  

We have grown so much this year, but growth doesn’t always feel good.  We have had people we love and care about attack our character and few defended us. When it would have felt better to defend ourselves and expose lies, the Lord asked us to humble ourselves and lay aside our pride and remain silent.  I can let it roll off my shoulders pretty easily when people treat me badly, but you mess with my husband or my kids and my mama bear side comes out and I want to defend those I love.  I wanted to see my loved ones vindicated and I wanted others to know how wrong they were for their hateful words and actions.  But God needed to work on ugly parts of my own heart that I didn’t even know were there.  When you genuinely pray, “Search my heart O God and rid me of any sinful ways,” just be ready for some ugliness to be exposed.  This year has been a humbling year.  As I have prayed for the Lord to change the hearts of others, He has exposed plenty of areas in my own life that need to be given over to Him.  As hard as it was to acknowledge, in the process, he gave us compassion for those who hurt us.  God even allowed us to grasp some truth from the criticism and grow in areas and then he healed our hearts and allowed us to release the rest.  Only God can do that friends.  As hard as this year has been, I wouldn’t change it for anything.  It was necessary.  God has used this year to get things in order in every area of our lives…spirit, mind, body, and soul.  We suffered loss this year in many areas, but God filled us with exactly what we needed and promised us He will always go before us and lead us to victory.  I’m no longer fearful of the future because I know the promises God has spoken to us in His Word and those He has spoken to our hearts will come to pass.  We are believing 2019 is going to be a year of peace and the year promises are fulfilled.  The Bible doesn’t promise us this life will be easy.  Comfort has never been the goal.  Following the will of the Lord is the goal and fulfilling your God-ordained purpose makes it all worth it.  I’m so thankful I don’t walk this journey out alone.  I can’t think of anyone else I’d want by my side than God Himself and my amazing husband.  Wherever You go, I’ll go.  Thank you for leading and preparing the way.  

 As I close out this year, here are the life lessons that I am taking with me into 2019.  

·     The Lord goes before us and prepares our path. (Deut. 31:8) No matter how difficult the journey may be, He is with us, fighting for us, and He is leading us to victory! (Deut. 1:30) Just trust Him and continue following Him, even when you don’t understand His ways.  

·     Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. (Prov. 3:5) His ways truly are higher than our ways and His thoughts higher than our thoughts. (Isa. 55:9)

·     God is more concerned about our character than our comfort and He’s more interested in making our life holy than He is making our life happy. (Romans 5:3-5)

·     Peace doesn’t only come in the absence of troubles.  You can experience God’s perfect peace even in the midst of life’s storms.  When you focus on God’s promises, you won’t be moved by your circumstances.  (Isa. 26:3-4)

·     No weapon formed against us will prosper. (Isaiah 54:17)  No matter the plans and schemes of man, the Lord’s purpose will prevail. (Prov. 19:21)

·     Our problems are magnified when we become focused on ourselves.  Lift up your eyes and look for opportunities to serve others. It’s great medicine for the heart and soul.  

·     Delayed obedience is disobedience and the consequences are evident.  Trust the nudgings of the Holy Spirit and obey quickly. (Psalm 119:60)

·     When we blow God’s plan A, He still has plans B, C, or so on.  His counsel shall stand and He will accomplish all of His purpose when we seek His ways. (Isa. 46:10)

·     God is faithful to perform His Word. (Jer. 1:12)

No matter how difficult 2018 was for you, I pray you are encouraged today.  God loves you and He has good plans for you and your family. Greater days are coming and just remember, storms may come, but you are only passing through the storm.  It was never God’s plan for you to camp out in the storm or die in the storm.  Remember, His plans are good.  Hold on precious friend and put all of your trust in Him.  I see the sun and the light of His glory ahead.  Victory is ours in Jesus’ Name!   Happy New Year!

Clinging to Promise

Promise…something I have had to cling to this year.

Anyone who knows me at all, you KNOW that I am a planner!  I thrive on schedules, routines, and being prepared.  I make plans…that’s just what I do!  But this year, the enemy has worked overtime to derail the plans that my husband and I have worked hard to accomplish.  It’s been a year of heartache, disappointments, and at times, uncertainty.  Of all the things we have been up against this year, do you know what I have struggled with the most?  The uncertainty.  The enemy has tried to use the unknown as a playground for fear.  But do you know what…FEAR IS A LIAR!   

Life isn’t fair.  Sadly, we live in a world where bad things often happen to good people.  When those things happen, it’s my nature to want to put a plan into place to fix it! But I learned a long time ago that although we may not be able to control every situation and outcome, we CAN control our attitude and how we deal with it.  John 16:33 says, “we WILL have troubles here on earth.”  It’s inevitable on this side of heaven, but that verse doesn’t stop there!  Jesus goes on to say, “But take heart!  I have overcome the world.”  This year, I have had moments where I have questioned myself, my family, my plans, and my future. But one thing I have never questioned is God’s faithfulness.  He has been my constant in a season with so much uncertainty.  Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  I have held onto that promise over and over this year and I truly believe that with all of my heart.  My husband and I have always tried to live our lives with purpose and especially in recent years, our greatest desire has been to live our lives completely devoted to the Lord.  I have spent countless hours over the years seeking the Lord, asking Him to reveal to us His plans. There’s nothing I want more than to do what He has called us to do here on earth for the short time He has placed us here.  I believe The Word when it says we were created for a purpose and that He has good plans for us.  I believe that!  Do you? As the Lord has shed light on His plans and purpose for our lives, my husband and I have made plans and done everything in the natural and to the best of our ability to live out the plans He has for us!  We have made mistakes along the way, but I am so grateful that His mercies are new every morning and that He is faithful to complete the work that He has already begun(Lamentations 3:22-23 and Philippians 1:6)!  

When things don’t go the way we have planned, we have a choice.  We can choose to look at our situation through our fleshly eyes and be resentful, bitter, upset, and use our words to tell others how we were wronged, mistreated, or justified…OR…we can choose to look at our situation through the lens of The Word (TRUTH) and be hopeful, content, comforted, and use our words to speak the promises of God.  People will disappoint us, but God promises us that “No man can close the door that the Lord has opened for you!”  That means that even when our plans fail or appear to be failing, God’s plans for our lives will prevail to those who seek and obey Him!  That is a promise I have had to cling to this year!  There have been moments where I have cried out to God and said, “Lord!  We don’t deserve this!  This isn’t fair!  We have been faithful!  Why, Lord?! Is this really in Your plans?!”  And in those raw moments with my Savior, His presence was tangible and His voice was as clear as ever as His promises filled my heart and He gently reminded me to “Trust the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)  

Jesus is my constant. He is my Rock!  If there is anyone or anything I can fully put my trust into, it is Him and Him alone!  He has never failed me and He never will.  I may not understand His ways at times, but I trust that His ways are higher than my ways (Isaiah 55:9) and I have peace in that and can rest in knowing that.  You will never hear me question God’s goodness as long as I live here on this earth. He has been so so good to me.  If I listed out the troubles we have faced this year and allowed those things to become my focus, it would easily ruin my year as it would override all the good that has happened this year...and there have been so many blessings and joyful moments even in the midst of trials.  That’s what the enemy loves!  If He can get us to focus on what God isn’t doing for us, we fail to recognize everything that He has done/is doing and that will keep us in a place of bondage and fear!  When hard times come, lean into Jesus!  Recognize there is an enemy, but what the enemy means for harm, God will use for good to accomplish His purpose (Genesis 50:20)!  That’s a promise!  Trust in Him!  Trust in His promises!  Trust in His plans for your life!  They are GOOD plans!  Ask the Lord to change your focus today.  

I’m reminded of the Israelites.  God delivered them from slavery and gave them a promise!  He promised to take them to a new land…one that was plentiful where they wouldn’t have to work hard for food, one where the land was plush and water was abundant.   He had a good plan for them and He desired to see them free!  They witnessed God’s miraculous powers on this journey!  An angel of God guarded them all and the Lord Himself lead the way by cloud and a pillar of fire at night!  The seas were split and they walked across on dry ground!  The enemy’s army was swallowed and drowned by the sea!  Bitter waters were made sweet, manna rained down from heaven for bread, quail was sent to provide meat, and water poured out of rocks! These people witnessed God’s goodness, felt His presence, heard His voice, and yet, the moment hard times came, what was the first thing that came out of their mouths?  Complaining and grumbling!  Their focus shifted from the promise to the problem!  When that happened, anxiety and bitterness overcame them and they actually believed that God brought them out of Egypt, out of slavery, just to watch them suffer and die in the wilderness!   Lord, help us! Guard our tongues!  Keep us from complaining and grumbling about our circumstances Lord!  Guard our hearts so that we don’t lose hope in your promises!  Complaining and grumbling kept the Israelites from their promise and it will keep you from yours too!  I don’t know what you are going through today friends.  You may be going through what feels like your own personal hell.  I am not discounting your pain.  But let me assure you, God has good plans for your life. Take hold of the promises that He has spoken over you and declare them over your life, over your family, and over your future.  Trust in Him. When you feel your promise slipping through your fingers and it appears everything the Lord has promised you is gone...cling to His promise and guard your words!  Don’t let your problems dismantle your promise.  God is good and He IS faithful to fulfill His promises! Whether you are standing on the promises of God that are for all believers or you are standing on a specific promise that God spoke directly to you, cling to it!  Don’t let your troubles cloud your perspective from all of the miracles and blessings He is pouring out over you.  God isn’t caught off guard by our troubles.  He goes before us and although we may not understand why things don’t turn out the way we have planned or thought they would, rest in the fact that even when the enemy uses situations to cause pain and trouble in our lives (and even if our pain is a consequence of our actions), God is with you and He will work all things for good according to HIS plans and purpose.  Trust in Him. In a land full of complainers, be a Joshua and go claim your promise!