Who are you following? Over the summer, I did a Bible study with my older daughters and a group of their friends called, “Who Are You Following? Pursuing Jesus in a Social Media Obsessed World.” I thought it would be a great study to prepare their hearts before I begin to give them some access to certain social media platforms (which it certainly was). What I wasn’t expecting is how it exposed my heart and brought me to my knees time and time again. My heart’s greatest desire is to live a life that pleases the Lord. He is my greatest love and although I know I can never repay Jesus for what He has done for me, all I want to do in my life is to serve Him whole-heartedly, love Him intimately, obey him faithfully, and honor Him with my words and actions. Why then, did I find myself get so far off track?
Let me back up. I have loved Jesus my entire life. I jokingly tell people I was practically born on the second pew in church because my parents had me in church since the first Sunday after I came home from the hospital. Unless we were sick on a rare occasion or out of town for our annual vacation, my parents prioritized God’s house and had us there for weekly services every Sunday morning and Sunday night, arriving early for Sunday school every Sunday morning, had us there every Wednesday night for mid-week services no matter how busy their day may have been, and many times, had us there on week nights for revival services, not just to check off their religious checklist, but because they saw the importance and value of listening and learning God’s Word and soaking in His presence in order to grow in our relationship with Jesus. I can remember at 7 years old, driving home from church and thinking, “I love Jesus so much and I know I live for Him, but have I actually been saved yet?” He was so much a part of my DNA because of the way my parents raised me, but I remember the moment I stopped and prayed and asked Jesus into my heart because I wanted to make sure that I was born again and ready for heaven. Shortly after that, I was baptized, and not long after that, I was filled with the Holy Spirit, and my personal relationship with Jesus began to grow. Jesus has been my friend, my comforter, my healer, my counselor, my deliverer, and I learned to obey His voice at a young age. Through every season of my life, I have witnessed His goodness and can confidently say, He has been so faithful.
Fast forward to becoming a new mom. Sixteen years ago, I can vividly remember holding my brand-new baby girl and as I stared and studied her perfect little face and fingers, tears flooded my eyes as I was completely overwhelmed with the goodness of God. The realization and understanding of the gift the Lord just placed in my arms and in my responsibility broke me in a way that exposed my very need for Jesus like never before. Before I became a mother, I loved Jesus and I served Him, but motherhood exposed my need for Him every single day like I had never acknowledged before. I can remember distinctly all four moments (and even with our foster children) that I held each of my children and with tears dripping down my cheeks, thanked the Lord for such a precious gift and I committed them to the Lord and vowed to raise these babies for Him.
As a new mother (x4), I can remember praying and asking the Lord for wisdom and guidance because the initial weight of the responsibility to not only keep these babies alive was heavy, but knowing I had been chosen to the be the shepherd of their hearts was a weight that felt like too much at times. The thought of any of my children not serving the Lord still brings tears to my eyes, increases my heart rate, and turns my stomach. It’s truly been my greatest mission in life since they were babies to not just teach our children about His Word, but to shepherd their hearts in a way that breeds intimacy with Jesus. I want them to know Him, long for Him, know His voice, and trust Him all the days of their life.
God’s Word has been my lifeline through this journey. Next to salvation, the Holy Spirit has been the best gift Jesus has ever given me, and God’s Word is the next best gift! How do people even survive without these two precious gifts in life!?
Fast forward again to this summer’s Bible study. Sadie Robertson came out guns blazing in Chapter 1 of her book, “Who Are You Following?” Read and meditate on these four excerpts below:
“How quickly we can end up somewhere we never intended to go if we aren’t paying close attentionto who we are following!”
“Perhaps we’ve forgotten the first step of following someone or something: determining where we want to go.”
“Often, we don’t intend to see the things we see, think about the things we end up thinking about, spend the hours we spend, or even buy the things we buy. We just weren’t paying attention to who we were following. The problem is, we don’t know who we are, what we want, or where we are going. We might have had a vague idea, but we weren’t intentional about following the people who knew how to get us there, or we got distracted and forgot what we wanted in the first place.”
“It might not happen overnight, but in time you will start to look like who you follow.”
Sadie Robertson may have been talking about how following the wrong people on social media can lead you so far from your destination if you aren’t careful, but the Holy Spirit was using her words to expose how I got off track from where I wanted to go because I was following the wrong people and surrounding myself with people who were going to a different destination. I allowed myself to get distracted from my most important mission and started chasing after something that took me off the path God had for me and my family. Lord, forgive me and help me always stay sensitive to the nudgings of the Holy Spirit as He is always trying to lead me and get me back on the right path. Perhaps this book was more for me than my girls? Perhaps the Holy Spirit wanted to guard my heart from having another “How did we get here!?” moment.
You see, God’s Word is filled with commands and invitations to follow Jesus. As Christ followers, we should do our best to obey all the commands, but I love how even Jesus’ disciples asked Him at times what commandment is the most important. To which Jesus replied, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.” (Matthew 22:37-38). Do you ever do that? Do you have moments where you think you are failing miserably at walking out this Christian life, so you ask Jesus to help you do what’s most important to Him…as if it’s easier to follow Him if you focus in on just one or two commandments, versus allowing God’s Word to completely transform us into being more like Jesus? Do you do the same with your children? Do you have a list of hopes, dreams, expectations, and prayers for your own children? Of course you do. We all do. I can remember holding my babies when they were born, and my heart was filled with prayers over them. The list only grows as they get older. From being healthy, happy, having Godly relationships, to desiring them to be kind, responsible, and filled with the fruits of the spirit. We want them to excel in school, in sports, serve others, and work hard. Let’s not forget we want them to be good stewards of what the Lord blesses them with, use their talents for the Lord, obey their parents, be the hands and feet of Jesus, and find a Godly spouse someday. I’m sure there are times our kids come to us just like Jesus’ disciples came to Him and they want to know, “Mom, Dad...I know you want all of these things for me, but what’s the most important thing I can do to please you?”
Just as our children desire to please their parents, as Christ followers, our heart’s desire should be to please our heavenly Father. His plans for us are good. He sees the beginning from the end, and He desires so much more for us than what we could ever think or imagine. He knows there is an evil one in this world that has come to steal, kill, and destroy the plans He has for you. So out of His goodness and love for us, He has given us everything we need to fulfill all the plans He has for us. He gave us the Holy Spirit, He has given us His Word to transform us, and He has clearly told us what’s most important for those who have chosen to leave everything and follow Him.
“Seek FIRST the kingdom of GOD and His RIGHTEOUSNESS, and ALL these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33)
“You shall LOVE the LORD your God with ALL of your HEART, and with ALL your SOUL, and with ALL your MIND. This is the first and greatest commandment.” (Matthew 22:37-38)
“ABOVE ALL ELSE, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23)
Look at the those first three words in that last verse…ABOVE ALL ELSE. As a mother, there are so many things I desire for my kids. However, my “above all else” desire is for them to love Jesus with all of their heart. I want them to pursue Him more than anything else, and never compromise their faith and convictions for something this world offers. Bottom line. That’s my greatest desire. That’s the final destination I am pursuing as a mother! If that’s where I desire to lead my children, I need to make sure I’m following people that are going there too, or I may take the wrong turn and end up somewhere completely foreign from where my original destination was! It doesn’t matter how good of intentions I have, if I don’t focus on my “ABOVE ALL ELSE” desire, my other desires can easily take me down the wrong road. And can I be transparent with you for a moment? I allowed myself to get distracted and didn’t even realize it until I heard my husband and I trying to convince our son why he needed to go to his sports practice instead of church and my son in tears, responded in frustration and confusion and called us out respectfully when he stated, “You have always taught me to put God first. When did that change?”
Ouch! You guys, when I heard his words, it literally felt like I got punched in the gut. It took my breath away and I began to weep. What began as the rare exception turned into a habit. I felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit immediately and I knew I had failed to do the most important thing as a parent…guard the hearts of my kids and seeking the Kingdom of God first. How in the world did I get so far from my original destination that I found myself trying to justify and convince my son why he shouldn’t go to church even though he felt like that’s where God wanted him to be? I was trying to silence the voice of God in his life. Well, when I read Sadie Robertson’s words in her devotion, I knew exactly how we got there.
“How quickly we can end up somewhere we never intended to go if we aren’t paying close attentionto who we are following!”
“Often, we don’t intend to see the things we see, think about the things we end up thinking about, spend the hours we spend, or even buy the things we buy. We just weren’t paying attention to who we were following. The problem is, we don’t know who we are, what we want, or where we are going. We might have had a vague idea, but we weren’t intentional about following the people who knew how to get us there, or we got distracted and forgot what we wanted in the first place.”
I certainly didn’t ever intend to teach my kids to prioritize sports over their relationship with Jesus, but I got distracted and forgot what we wanted as parents in the first place. I failed to pay attention to who I was following. I know this is not a popular thing to say, but friends, youth sports have become a modern-day god and I’ll be so bold to say I believe youth sports has become a glamorized form of child abuse in some organizations. The Holy Spirit has exposed to me how the world was contending for the hearts of my children and the enemy used sports to lure their hearts from God. As the gatekeeper of their hearts, my husband and I didn’t even notice it! We thought we were stewarding their gifts and talents. With good intentions to just surround them with great coaches and trainers, we started looking at other parents who had talented athletes and began to follow their advice, team/organization recommendations, training regimens, and practice/games schedules in order to help our kids grow in their gifts and become the best athletes they could be. Our intentions were good. We just never intended on getting so sucked into the rat race of youth sports that we would compromise the hearts of our kids in the meantime. We started following families that were going places we never had intended to go. It’s never been a goal of ours to have kids earn scholarships for sports, go pro, or play for the best teams in the state. We just wanted to see our kids have fun, be active, learn valuable life lessons about perseverance, discipline, hard work, and teamwork, all while becoming the best they could be. However, in the process, we allowed our competitive nature and our desire to win and be the best cause us to compromise what the Lord had entrusted to do as parents and for us, that was to raise our children to, “Seek first the kingdom of God!”
There will always be something in life contending for our time, attention, and affection. Whether you are 8 or 88 years old or somewhere in between, we must guard our hearts above all else and seek first the Kingdom of God! We must settle it in our hearts who we want to be, where we want to go, and who we will serve, and then be diligent to stay on the right path. And as parents, we must teach our kids how to prioritize their faith in a world that’s competing for their affection. Please don’t hear what I’m not saying. I know a lot of God-fearing and Jesus-loving people whose children play competitive sports. I’m just asking you to count the cost and shepherd their hearts to a genuine relationship with Jesus. "For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world yet loses his soul?" Matthew 16:26. Is Jesus first in their life? Are they seeking the Kingdom first? Are they guarding their hearts from worldly gods. Are they leaving margin in their schedules for corporate worship and rest? The Holy Spirit is our guide. He knows my children more than me. He sees the spiritual traps that await my children when they remain hidden to my eyes. In an effort to protect my kids, I lean on the Holy Spirit to lead me and guide me as I raise my children. The Holy Spirit has consistently convicted me to prioritize being in God’s house every opportunity. Hebrews 10:25 exhorts us to, “Don’t give up meeting together (in corporate worship), as some are in the habit of doing, but encourage one another all the more as the Day approaches.” For us, the conviction to have our children faithfully attend church runs deep. If we chose to ignore those convictions in order to propel their chances for a college scholarship or to be on a better team, I’m certain my kids’ spiritual walks would be compromised due to my disobedience to walk out that personal conviction. Obedience comes at a cost too. One of the proudest and hardest moments as a mom was the day my son came to me and told me he wanted to take a break from competitive sports because he didn’t like missing church. It makes me sad that he had to even make that decision. I played competitive sports all my life and apart from a couple tournaments a year, I never had to choose between sports and being faithful to church. That’s not the case anymore and it’s sad. I’m grateful for the leagues and coaches that have given my children space for growth while still allowing our kids to prioritize their faith, health, and family. There are teams out there, you just have to set some boundaries, ask coaches if they'll respect your convictions, and look hard to find those who will.
I’ll leave you with these two questions to ponder, “Who are you following?” and “Where are they leading you?”
Determine where you want to go and then be intentional to lay out a path to get there. Don’t get distracted and pulled off your course. The enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy and he will entice you with good things. Whether it’s sports, careers, friendships, hobbies, or fill in the blank…, these are all good things until they seek to steal the time you have set aside for the Lord each day/week. Ask the Lord today, is this helping me get to the destination I desire to go. For me, the answer was clear. I pray the Holy Spirit makes it clear to you as well.
